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Thursday, Oct 26, 2006 - 23:32 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

Dual Awardees

1:15 a.m. today:

<g!ys> hmm i just post u so fast read liao ah
<g!ys> special award!
...
<@|\/> yay
<@|\/> i wan recognition (!!)

Moral of the story, be careful what you wish for :)



Announcing the Auguration of the Alvin LJS Award Acknowledging Active Assayment!

Ranking among the most exclusive of global honours (current recipients: 1 (one)), the Alvin LJS Award Acknowledging Active Assayment (hereafter referred to as the "AAAAA", or "Alvin"), is bestowed by this blog's owner upon those of this blog's readers who fulfil certain criteria:

1. The person must have been the first to encounter a new posting and reflect on his new finding to the blog owner, above and beyond the call of duty;

2. The person must actively ask for the award. Canvassing and outright bribery is encouraged;

3. The person must outdo all previous recipients of the AAAAA in some way;

4. The person's name must start with an "A";

Standing 23.6 cm tall (9.5 inches), the AAAAA is gold-plated (eh, even Olympic gold medals are) and stands on a base of environmentally-friendly faux wood. It is in the likeness of its inspiration and first winner, who is leaning dynamically rightwards, looking towards a brighter future, as portended to by the shiny sheen of the metal under decent lighting.

He clutches a standard QWERTY keyboard in his right hand, the instrument of universal communications and symbol of his dedication to utilizing his web-literacy, and grasps an optical mouse in his left hand, signifying a cool device which doesn't get its balls jammed up. Together, they represent the ascendancy of the Net; His back is turned towards the viewer, exuding a sense of indefinable 1337ness at achieving this unbelievably prestigious prize.

Officially, the right to use the above image is limited to the most recent recipient. However, if any person wins the AAAAA either five times in total, or three times in a row, he or she is entitled to save a permanent copy on his or her hard disk drive to keep for perpetuity; The blog owner will then upload a new copy to Imageshack.

The presentation is usually a private, dignified ceremony over MSN Instant Messaging, (the "Alvins"), although if the awardee is unable to attend, either through recent formatting, loyalty to ICQ, or being incapicitated, alternatives like e-mail and word of mouth will be considered.

A special honorary AAAAA (not considered a "full" one) has been granted to Mr. Gopal, longtime TCHS hygiene technical officer, in lieu of a more appropriate award, none of which are so far available. Supposedly he's retiring at the end of the year, which will be an unmitigated loss to the next generation of HCI students, who will never be able to experience being hounded off the grass or having chapteh sessions disrupted by the legendary Broomstick of Gopal - Adiós, amigo!

And oh, Alvin remarked that the victim in the previous post fell on the tracks and didn't commit suicide. A quick glance through some articles showed that indeed, the official records didn't say that he took his own life. I realise I had been influenced by Internet speculations which matched my personal inclination. It's not likely to be proven either way, but this method of death does give the family some plausible deniability which would be absent if done by other means. One is more likely to have business on an MRT platform than at the top of a high-rise building, after all. Accident or suicide? You decide.



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1 comment

anonymous said...
Wa Who's this! Damn Shuai! woohoo!


October 27, 2006 - 21:26 SGT     

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