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- travel - Pre-trip: Dinner at Hotpot Culture, Marina Square with eight 4O people, but no L4D2 as the LAN shops in the area were all packed. Stayed up to watch United stumble against Villa. 13 December  Off on a Jetstar flight to Bangkok's Suvarnabhumi airport [1] on a rare family holiday. Don't remember much about the last time I visited Thailand (with the army) about five years ago, but I probably landed at the older Don Mueang airport then, and from the boarding pass I kept, it was with Thai Airways. Spent a couple of hours in transit [2], chomping down some fried rice with shrimp, before transferring to an AirAsia flight to Chiang Mai. Waited some time for the representative from the car rental company, but we were soon in a Honda City, which would be our primary mode of transportation for the next three days.  More data for licence plate recognition Zoomed over to the Imperial Maeping Hotel [3], where songstress Teresa Teng used to stay when in the vicinity, and which was quite comfortably furnished [4]. Dinner was at Ounheha Restaurant [5], a roadside affair a short drive from the hotel. Following on from my habit in Europe of taking photos of food (a practice which I had previously scorned), I snapped some pics of the omelette [6], fish [7] and prawns [8], which were truly delicious (and also very affordable). The concentrated iced chrysanthemum tea, which came in glass bottles, was heady too. Went for a stroll along the (Sunday) night market [9] after that, and soon discovered that while there were more stalls than one could shake a wallet at, almost none of them had unique goods; if one had missed out on a black wooden figurine, say, or a particular design of shirt, it is almost a given that another stall will have exactly the same wares somewhere down the street, which is as close to a perfectly competitive market as I have seen for awhile.  Could be mistaken for a cooked rice stall? Most of the goods on offer didn't quite catch our fancy, but there was an innovative service that allowed customers to have names or other messages written down on grains of rice, which could then be inserted into hollow plastic pendants and floated in dye to make a personalised gift. My mum put in a bulk order, and the young lady manning the stall made perhaps a week's rural wage out of that alone, so I suppose creativity (and written English) goes a long way everywhere.  So you think you can dance? The market had its fair share of buskers and performers too, and a popular makeup was the three or four man ensemble, either huddled together in a circle, or sitting in a line, banging on improvised instruments. They were probably outshone by a couple of cute kids in tribal dress, who perennially gathered a fair-sized crowd about them. One played some variant of a zither, while the other danced slowly and gracefully to it. As if that were not enough, they had a sign proclaiming that they loved the king, which should score extra brownie points anywhere in Thailand (more on this later). Discovered that the Thai traffic police do issue parking tickets (that were unintelligible to us), and that wireless access at the Imperial Maeping was very weak, to say the least. An hour's access cost 150 baht, and all I got out of that was a Google search that showed 150 baht was about equivalent to S$6.30. They had two sports channels to make up for it, and Liverpool versus Arsenal was on. I wouldn't normally have watched this fixture, but as there was little better to do at this time, I changed into my United sweatpants, opened a packet of salted cashew nuts from the minibar, sipped the complimentary Chang-branded drinking water, and sat down to the game. Arsenal showed some nice touches but precious little aggression, and appeared to have bottled it after Kuyt put Liverpool in front just before half-time. With the result looking a foregone conclusion, my siblings retired, and missed out on the Glen Johnson own-goal and Arshavin wonderstrike in the second half. Pool probably deserved a draw and could feel hard done by, with Gerrard not getting a penalty after getting rather obviously stopped by Gallas in the box, but unfortunately for him he has probably gotten a bit of a reputation for going down easy. 14 December  Tucked into the buffet breakfast in the hotel's dining room, and started with a bit of ham and bacon [1] [Mr. Ham G. Bacon: Hey!], fried rice and waffles, and washed it down with a lychee drink. Saw the city in daylight, and other than the sections of ancient fortifications [2] that were preserved, what struck me was the prevalence of portraits [3] of the Thai king (monks come a distant second) - one can hardly drive a mile without being confronted by a huge poster of his likeness either mounted overhead or on buildings, and even the humblest workman's room will have one, often several, pictures of His Majesty. One is also continually bombarded by the fact that the king has just celebrated his 82nd birthday (or more formally, the 82nd anniversary of his birth), and by all accounts he is well-intentioned and genuinely beloved of the people (and also a former SEA Games gold medallist in sailing). However, with the political troubles that the country seems continually mired in, the quote from 100 Minds That Made The Market that one has a lot of power, as long as one does not try to use it, comes to mind. On this point, there was an editorial from the Bangkok Post on a seminar at the local university, where students were asked about their respective allegiances - did they support Thaksin's redshirts, or the (purportedly-royalist, but it's complicated) yellowshirts that are against him? The speaker then made the students sit according to their loyalties, and went on to convince both side that they were not completely in the right; Thaksin wasn't exactly an angel (with heavyhanded extrajudicial executions in his War on Drugs, and the Shin Corp saga, for example), but his opponents overthrew a democratically elected leader, so it seems like a case of grey and gray morality driven by self-interest (as usual). As mentioned, everybody still loves the king, and that is perhaps the reason why the three-laned road up to his Bhubing Palace up in the mountains is so well-maintained. On top of that, the mountain air was refreshing cool, so much so that we wound down the car windows for long stretches. We stopped by the Wat Phrathat Doi Suthep temple first, with the 300-plus step climb up to it [4] being a decent workout, reminding me of a similar (but longer) flight of stairs back in Cinque Terre. The purportedly impressive view of Chiang Mai was obscured by mist, unfortunately, but there were plenty of shrines and bells around, not a few due to the largesse of Singaporeans - one was funded by someone from Ang Mo Kio, and another by two people from Tampines [5]. Not to forget, there was also a distinctive jackfruit tree:  This is THE jackfruit. There are many like it, but this one is IT Went back to the palace, but it appeared that it was on lunch break, so we headed on to the Hmong hilltribe village, on an uneven two-lane track that necessitated cooperative driving. One thing about Thai drivers is that they understand give-and-take, and after a reasonable wait at a junction, nobody will blare their horns at you for cutting across, and it all works out. Try that in Singapore! The village itself was a hot and dusty place, with more shops [6] than I would have expected the area to support, again selling much the same stuff (same suppliers?). Business can't be that bad as new shopfronts were being hacked out at intersections, though, and low rent and overheads may have something to do with it. A man tried out a newly-carved wooden crossbow at the entrance to the museum, which was manned by a teenager selling tickets at 10 baht each. That at least won insight into the secret of the giraffe women (their necks are not lengthened, rather their ribs are pushed down), hands-on experience on traditional farming implements, and a look at opium poppies in their well-maintained garden [7]. Even there, a trader tried to sell precious stones to us, an offer that was politely declined. It was then back to the palace [8], where my sister had to rent a leg covering as shorts were not accepted within. The palace grounds weren't too exciting, reminding me of a botanical garden, but there were at least two sights that were worth a look - the Celestial Fountain of the People, a musical fountain recently set up in honour of the queen, and a stand of giant bamboo that should make any panda extremely happy (the Chiang Mai zoo does have a new panda cub, Linping). Ice-cream helped too, and incredibly, Italian gelato was offered by some stores back in town. Got an inadvertent tour of the town (i.e. lost directions), before getting back to the hotel and catching a bit on sandpaper manufacture on the Discovery channel. For dinner, we went to the Central Airport Plaza [9], a modern shopping centre that wouldn't look out of place in Singapore. The property agents with their scale models of palatial residences broke the illusion, though - from what I could make out, a bungalow could be had for just one or two million Thai baht, which is around S$40000 to S$80000, or one percent of the equivalent back home!  I think that says 1.69 million baht Ate at The Pizza Company, which had delectable drumsticks, walked the shopping centre, bought bread for the night, and gaped at their cylindrical aquarium. Next up was the Anusarn night market, smack in the hotel district, which however didn't offer anything special over the Sunday market, other than perhaps some display cases of butterflies and other insects, and even a couple of bats, which distressingly reminded me of winged hamsters, but which should make good presents for discerning entomologists.  The must-have Thai fashion accessory of the season Wandered about as dad got a foot massage, and came across the Singha singlets that were requested by my cousin, and decided to get one for myself. The haggling ritual ensued, and reduced the price from 250 baht to 150 baht each, with the stallowner following the practice of emphasizing her final offer by displaying it on her calculator, even though verbal negotiation had worked perfectly fine before that. We then marvelled at the near-photorealistic skill of the roadside artists, before I tried and failed to get a copy of an English-language newspaper, and ended up swiping a copy of The Nation from the hotel. 15 December  Another buffet breakfast, then it was a long ride to the ISO9001-certified Maesa Elephant Camp [1]. Finding it wasn't too difficult, as we followed a single road for much of the distance, passing by an artillery camp, all-terrain vehicle (ATV) parks, rally car tracks and rifle ranges on the way. The camp starts early, and we caught only the tail end of their show, and had a lot of time to burn before it was repeated. This meant a 30-minute elephant ride, which was sort of like getting on a double-decker bus with a temper. The mahout, seated on the elephant's head, was blissfully unconcerned, as if it was the most natural thing to do. The circuit incorporated a couple of refreshment stations for the great beasts, as well as some nervous uphill bits, and a river break. Posed with the elephants after that [3], which required the initial offering of a bunch of bananas (swallowed whole), and a small tip for the mahout at the end to avoid being sprayed. Popped round to the art museum (a painting by elephant artists, entitled Cold Wind, Swirling Mist, Charming Lanna I, once sold for 1.5 million baht), elephant museum (with some informative facts), a house dedicated to Ganesha, and nursery (but with no tiny baby elephants, sadly), before the elephant bathing prelude to the next show. Their dung is collected even then [4], and among its other uses, it can even be used to manufacture paper. We then got good seats for the show proper (see Youtube video above for selected portions), which began with a procession and obedience demonstration (interestingly, elephants appear to take an order to lie down as one to empty their bowels). Astoundingly, they can play the harmonica with their trunks, but the highlight must be their football skills, with maybe a FIFA regulation size 20 ball. So those T-shirts back in town weren't lying. They can be impressively accurate with their kicks, though miscues can be dangerous - a few shots landed on (or over) the roof of the gallery, and one stinger demolished a wooden railing. They could even take goal kicks with their trunk dropping the ball for a good kick! Probably all that's left is to train them to dive and writhe on the ground, and the age of human dominance in the sport may be over. Painting skills (original artwork may be purchased for anywhere from 500 up to a few thousand baht) followed, mostly by young elephants, before an elephant massage demo, and a darts game, where the pachyderm champion handily defeated a tourist. The final logging part showed off the power of their trunks, and the combination of dexterity and strength may prove very useful for a Humanbot. Dropped by the Mae Rim Snake Farm [5] next, a rather run-down place with plenty of lethargic snakes on display in various cages and pits, probably not worth the admission for that alone. One can be crowned with a snake if he so desires, as some other tourists were, and the show saved the day.  Mr. Ham does not like this Strains of Ra Ra Rasputin played as the announcer joked about in surprisingly fluent English, advising visitors to sit on the top tier if they were concerned. One tourist and his lady companion plonked themselves down in the middle tier regardless, and of course got mercilessly taunted by the performers, who threw a section of rope near them, and let one particular snake crawl out of the ring. A side attraction was a toddler on the other stand, who appeared horrified much of the time. Touched one of the cobras for luck, but apparently the show was far more dangerous ten years ago - no worries, however, as the hospital is only five minutes away, or so the snake charmers say. Visited the Kad Suan Kaew shopping centre and had teppanyaki chicken, and got an Apacer card reader from their IT World store for photo transfer purposes, forgetting that my netbook had a built-in one. Electronics aren't a particularly good deal in Thailand, with prices similar to those back home. They do have good deals on shoes, however, and an incidental trip to Sports World ("the world of sports") led to the purchase of a pair for badminton, and another pair for field soccer [6], at about S$20-odd apiece. I had wanted a side-laced Nike Total 90 ripoff, but they were too narrow. Lingered a bit in the arcade where my brother kept his marksmanship in practice, and marvelled at how helpful the carpark attendants, both at the hotel and at the shopping centre, were - they will even guide your reverse parking using a whistle. Relaxed at the hotel, where I caught Football Focus on ESPN, with an intermission each time the advert for Tiger Beer was supposed to appear. It seems to be due to laws on alcohol advertising in Thailand, though I wonder if it will have much impact. It was then back to the Anusarn night market, where I initially didn't want to have a foot massage [7], but changed my mind after ten minutes of aimless walking. The rate was 140 baht an hour, the massage was more ticklish than painful, and for some reason my left leg was more sensitive than my right. My masseur was a young man who spoke some halting English, and who may be entering university soon. All in all, the rubdown did not appear to have much effect, but your mileage may vary.  Stop looking at me swan Strolled around, wondered how bamboo worms might taste, mum bought some dried longans, and spotted a Dijkstra wooden carving on a stall - no photos allowed, sadly. Supper at McThai's [8], which had similar prices to Singapore, and had a bite of broccoli pie, which was tasty against all expectations. Rounded the hotel, and noted the Internet cafes offering an hour of access at just 30 baht, a broken telephone in a booth, and a clothed cat which somehow got leashed to a lamppost (dogs appear to frequently be clothed too, with one robed like a monk!). Discovered that the hotel had a couple of elephant masterpieces [9] too. 16 December  Got my hands on another copy of the Bangkok Post, and got to know of Google DNS through its Database section. Back on the topic of the king, the newspaper reported that some officials had set up protecttheking.net for people to snitch on anti-monarchist activities. So far so good, but the registration ran out and was bought by an Englishman who set up a loansharking website there, to red faces all around (the original site is now here). Morning visit was to the umbrella factory [1], which takes visitors through the entire process, from the making of the paper [2] to the tooling of the handle and construction of the frames and final painting [3]. Nothing too special in their factory outlet (saw a Condo-L game that looked suspiciously similar to Jenga, though), and the Na Na Na handbag shop [4] at the entrance ended up sucking up most of the custom, with fellow Singaporeans recognized by their going "cheap, cheap" within. The next attraction was the Royal Flora Ratchaphruek 2006 , originally an exposition built in honour of the king (as always). It wouldn't have looked out of place in Singapore, being clean and meticulously organized. There was far too much to cover in the few hours we had, and we settled for a tram ride around the grounds, which held an impressive collection of internationally-themed gardens. The centerpiece was the Ho Kham Royal Pavilion [5], which was beautifully decorated within, rivalling some cathedrals I've been to. The trip to the gardens was itself eventful, with the purchase of a secret gift for Mr. Ham, and the sight of a posh glass-and-concrete condo surrounded by wasteland on both sides. Slacked at the Central Airport Plaza again, and caught sight of Red Cross donation boxes for old clothes that reminded me of the path these clothes take in Poor Story - apparently, they might be sold in bulk to businesses which sort them into different grades, and resold, with the most threadbare (but likely most comfy) going for the least. Returned the trusty car (which the agent took his time inspecting [6]), and slept on the return flight to Bangkok (N.B. Bangkok arc coming soon on Mafia Wars!) after bidding Chiang Mai farewell. Experienced the Bangkok landing approach that took us pretty close to residences, and had to take a bus [7] to the terminal because they didn't want to move the plane, which does make some sense. Next, it was time to negotiate for our cab ride into Bangkok proper, and the first driver, who had a large enough taxi for five people, pushed his luck by demanding 700 baht for the trip, which my father turned down without a second thought - a metered fare for a single cab is usually only about 300 baht, after all, but one can't really blame the drivers for trying. Checked in at the Baiyoke Suite Hotel, which is more akin to an apartment than your usual hotel - each two-person suite even has a living room with couch and television, and if that were not enough, there's a flat-screen TV mounted on the wall of the bedroom too. They even had a router in the room, but by then I was not at all eager to go online. They even had one of those fancy weighing machines [8] that calculates one's body fat percentage! Where else but Bangkok can one find a shrine to a four-faced Buddha right next to a gigantic ultra-modern mall with Burberry emblazoned on its outside? For a small fee, one can buy garlands, joss-sticks and candles to offer, and also hire Thai dancers for a short performance. Had dinner at Zen Cucina [9] at the CentralWorld shopping centre, the atmosphere of which put Orchard Road to shame. Even the outside was packed with tables where customers can get beer on tap directly, and the giant screens showed United nearing the end of their 3-0 hiding of Wolves. Tried to shave with the complimentary razor back at the hotel, but gave up in disgust at the bluntness of the blades. Dad stayed up to watch CSKA Sofia versus AS Roma, while I tried to fall asleep in the bedroom. 17 December  Last day in Thailand, which kicked off with a buffet at the hotel's 43rd storey Sky Lounge, where we had a good view of Bangkok's charming and more... organic architecture [1, 2, 3]. One sees the old right next to the new, and the contrasting mix is one that meticulously-planned Singapore will not have. Of course, it's likely less efficient too, so one can't have it all. Got in a taxi (whose driver amusingly prodded half-heartedly at the meter only after being asked to) to the Grand Palace complex, which apart from its famous golden towers and the Wat Phra Kaew, the temple housing the Emerald (actually jade) Buddha, is still a work in (re)progress [4]. There was a flood of students dressed in uniforms very similar to that of TCHS (white shirt and khaki shorts, but brown shoes and socks), and also art students engaged in sketching. We then took a tour of the Royal Armoury [5], where strictly speaking no photos are allowed, so I have no idea how this got onto the camera. With no time to lose, an hour-long river taxi tour [6] was up next, and it got bumpy at times, especially when the boatman sped up. Mindful that I had too much memory remaining on my handphone, I snapped photos with wild abandon. Another boat [7] approached us to sell refreshments and bread with which to feed the fish, but unfortunately for him we had already stocked up. Got on land to look at another shrine and drink coconut milk.  BK Fish Special Made a final round of Bangkok's shopping centres, connected by a network of overhead bridges, which if messier than Singapore's underground solution, does exude vitality. Some of the malls even had metal detectors at their entrance, to what end I do not know. The most memorable store was one that sold a variety of products (e.g. bags, shoes) made from such exotic skins as deer, snake and crocodile. Travelled a station on the BTS (Bangkok's MRT, which uses the old magnetic card technology) [8], and perhaps MRT management could look at the handhold design within BTS trains. A final bit of shopping (where I got another singlet for 100 baht, lower than even after bargaining at Chiang Mai) and a treat at Swensen's later, it was time to head back to the airport [9], with our cab driver speeding back, stopping to refuel en route. Apparently some of the reduction of pollution in Bangkok (the air was clear all the time we were there) can be attributed to the use of CNG hybrids, a practice that Singapore is only recently adopting. Our flight home was on Tiger Airways, and the shipping lights in the Gulf of Thailand were soon replaced by the dazzling ones of Batam, Johor and of course, Singapore. Singapore's size was made all the more apparent as we saw the entire eastern seaboard, from the Singapore Flyer to Changi airport, in great detail on the approach. One thing about the creatively-named Budget Terminal is that it is truly budget - the fittings are raw and almost military, and there being no travelator, the only option is to walk hundreds of metres to the exit. Another cousin, who's currently working part-time for my father (shoutout to his blogshop), arrived to pick us up, and that was the end of the Thai trip. Tonight's pretend betting, currently at a poor $829/$1400: $50 on Liverpool to beat Portsmouth (at 1.45) $50 on Manchester United (-1.5) vs. Fulham (2.50) Next: What We Are Burning
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