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Sunday, Apr 26, 2009 - 21:20 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

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Making Up For Lost Time

The EPL Circus Goes On

After all those 4-4 draws, Liverpool cranked up the pressure on United by beating Hull 3-1 to go top on goal difference and keep the fading veneer of excitement going. That clearly wasn't enough for the scriptwriters, who had United's formerly impregnable defence leak two goals to Spurs to enter half-time 0-2 down, before penning them in for five goals after the break for an improbable 5-2 result (videos). I'm getting numb to this silly one-upsmanship between the folks who plan the EPL matches.

More seriously, it was a passable comeback by the Red Devils, who just about managed to improve from their 0-3 to 5-3 one against the same team in 2001. However, while Rooney did quite well, Ronaldo actually seemed interested, Tevez ran his heart out as always and Berbatov was seen moving, the real catalyst behind United's victory was lucky mascot Mr. Ham G. Bacon:




Sarcasm Is A Dangerous Weapon

Lost in all the hoopla was a brief column at the bottom of page 45 of The Sunday Times, entitled "Kaka and Red Devils hold talks", which is indeed not very impressive on its own - but wait, there's a funny tale behind it.

This was not breaking news by any measure, as any soccer fan worth his salt would have read it on Soccernet, or indeed any of a number of online sources beforehand. The most relevant online source for this story would probably have been the RedCafe (Man Utd) forums that I frequent, for the simple reason that the entire thing was supposedly fabricated there.

Perhaps to keep the joke running a bit longer, the relevant thread has been deleted from the forums, but any journalist lucky enough to have access to Google might access it through Google's cache. The initial posts and responses were, as admitted later on in the same thread, a sarcastic rejoinder to all the Ronaldo transfer rumours floating about last summer, though one guy did reveal the nature of the "news" on the first page of the thread: "I dont find this shit funny at all. were (mabey) [sic] on the verge of losing our best player and youre all making jokes to highlight press fuelled paranoia!".

The lark, complete with made-up Kaka quotes, made the rounds of a few backwater papers back then before dying down, but apparently got revived by some British tabloids on a slow news day. Though there might be indeed something new in it - but I doubt it, given that Kaka had just extended his Milan contract to 2013, and he doesn't seem the club-hopper type - the made-up quotes were recycled in their full glory.

And it went on from then on up (or down) the media food chain, from the likes of The Sun and Daily Mail to Soccernet.com, making its way to The Times (which indeed was where our Straits Times got its name), and finally to the impeccably reputable Sunday Times of Singapore, who did attribute the tall tale to "several reports in English newspapers yesterday" before going on to - what else - print almost verbatim the Kaka quotes that were given life by a bored United fan some ten months ago on an internet forum.

Transfer speculation may not exactly be held to the same standards as other news items, but in a way I feel it quite hilarious that a moment of idleness can in fact result in absolute bullshit being broadcast unwittingly to millions of people, the vast majority who would be none the wiser and take it at face value; I would almost be tempted to drop a few insider hints on how Park Ji-Sung was seen on trial with Super Reds FC of the S-League, complete with a few blurry photos, just to see how far it would go!


Once-Current Affairs

A lot of stuff has gone by in this month or so, allowing me to pick out a few from that ample selection for discussion. Off the top of my head, there's the NTU stabbing incident (followed quickly by the suicide of a project officer from the same lab), followed by a lot of silence, but with a coroner's inquiry scheduled for May there should be more to come on this.

That was be followed by the suicide of an SAF scholar-doctor, and the picture he painted of bonded service made me rather more relieved at not trying with more vigour to snag a bonded scholarship. The main source of unhappiness here, at least those on the doctor's side, is on the supposed "unbreakability" of his bond. MINDEF did indeed clarify that "...they have a moral obligation to serve out the full period of their bonds, beyond their legal obligation to pay the liquidated damages..."

Frankly it is hard to sympathize completely with the doctor, who by all accounts came from a family rich enough not to need such a scholarship anyway. However, it seems as if the condition for "strong, extenuating circumstances" to break his bond (and moral obligation too, I guess) was not stated in the original contract according to the doctor's family, which, if true, kind of changes the situation somewhat. Twelve years of bondage is moreover rather excessive IMHO.

Next would probably be the trial of the couple who went starkers at Holland Village (previously commented on), where it was revealed that the girl involved was not a Japanese or some other decadent foreigner as assumed by some, but Singaporean; and not just any Singaporean, but an A*STAR Ph.D. scholar in infection biology. And not just any scholar either, but one who was from HCI (the former HCJC) in my year, from smk's class, and indeed whose class bench was very near mine supposedly (I can't remember).

Not that I care two hoots about nudity (though it would be best if no kids were in attendance, and of course if the person going nude were at least moderately attractive, please). It does go to show, however, that in being naughty, HCJC girls have the guys soundly beat (obvious past example withheld). Anyway, the incident probably boosted A*STAR's international profile tremendously, which can't hurt if they want to attract more renowned scientists, who are known to be of a liberal bent as a rule. Showing some hip beats contrived hip-hopping for coolness anyday.

Then the case of the editor who ran a red light, struck and killed a pillion rider, and got a day's jail. The general vibe I got was that a single day was far too low, and that the initial 18 month sentence was fairer. Setting emotions aside, the penalties for vehicle accidents are usually far lower than other forms of manslaughter for good reason, so a low sentence is not by itself unreasonable. A few other points about the case are however questionable:

The accused was supposedly using a handphone and might have been concerned about being late for a spa appointment when the accident happened, though the charge of using the phone was not accepted, which was probably fair on balance as it was likely that the accused had made her call(s) after the accident, and it would be difficult to synchronize the times of the call records with those of witnesses at the scene.

A more interesting observation is that the judge in the case agreed with the defence lawyer to impose a fine instead of prison time, which is fine I suppose, if not especially popular. The sentence of one day and twelve thousand bucks went through without demurral, whereupon it was belatedly discovered that the law says that such a money-for-time substitution is not in fact legal (the only prescribed penalty is a jail term of up to five years). Oops. The obvious solution, as applied by the judge, was then to waive the fine, and forgive the jail term, in the best traditions of Moving On From Honest Mistakes.

At least the judge kept enough of his wits about him to explicitly state that it was a "one off case and not to be used as a sentencing precedent". Which is problematic, since to the best of my (recently Wikipedia-ed) meager knowledge of Singaporean law, it is based on English common law, which is more or less simply applying precedents - and in any case managing to produce drastically different judgments for very similar crimes would be patently unfair in any system of justice worth the name. One might be forgiven for daring to imagine that in straight talk it just means that the case was handled outside the general principles of law, but surely there are Nuances That Are Best Unexplained For The Public Good here too.

And finally, the AWARE saga that saw a bunch of new gals displacing the original exco through a sudden influx of new members and votes, and which appears to have the makings of a good catfight. Chong Wenhoo has come up with an analysis that I highly recommend, which begins with the sage observation that the majority view on gays in Singapore is "conveniently neutral". As in, as long as they do their stuff behind closed doors and don't parade in leather down Orchard Road like Hard Gay, most people are fine with it. Sort of like the majority view on (other) religions, come to think of it.

Wenhoo then notes that while their moral stand might be understandable if not particularly laudable, their Public Relations was horrendous. Indeed being referred to as having committed a coup on the front pages of the national paper isn't going to win them much love. It doesn't help that the old guard appears much more charismatic and likeable too. Being considerate, Wenhoo then provides a cunning six-step plan for the new exco to salvage the situation, though it remains to be seen if they will take him up on it. Myself, I think it's highly workable. Wenhoo will probably make a great consultant someday.

Like Wenhoo, I will leave the gay debate for later (in fact, I have set Mr. Ham and Mr. Fish on the research), and since the sidestories such as death threats, church preplanning and being a "feminist mentor" (ambitious, given the prestige the Mentor title has locally) are all relatively unsubstantiated, I will leave them for now.



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