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Sunday, Aug 22, 2010 - 19:28 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

DIY PC

I just fixed up a new desktop computer, the provenance of which goes back several months:


More squeak than bite (Larger version)


It was back in mid-March...

Me: "Hmm... I could use a new computer."

Mr. Ham: "Or you could get me a new cage."

Me: "Eh."

Mr. Ham: "Selfish guardian-owner!"

Me: *shrugs*

Mr. Ham: *thinking quickly* "But since I'm such a nice hamster... I'll help you with the planning. You're going D.I.Y, right?"

Me: "Gee, thanks."


A month or so later...

Me: "Alrighty, the supplies you ordered have arrived, thanks to occ and alvin. Not too sure of what stuff like the Penn-Elcom H7154K Spring Flex Cabinet Handle and four New BP7003 Step Pedometers is for, though. Nice NZXT SENTRY 2 Accessories 5.25-Inch Touch Screen Fan Controller, I must say."

Mr. Ham: "I'll pretend I didn't hear anything but the last part. But thanks."

Me: "And don't you think the full tower Chieftec Dragon you had me pick up is a bit... big for today's tastes?"


47.5cm x 20.5cm x 67cm, sixteen kilograms light


Mr. Ham: "Aww, shaddap. It's a timeless classic, and I couldn't find anything of comparable quality yet larger, given your piddling budget."

Me: "But where are we gonna find enough goodies to use up all that space?"

Mr. Ham: "Don't you trust your hamster? I didn't take that mail-order course in Hamster Architec... I mean, Computer Architecture and Hamgineering for nothing."


Then...


Seemingly random collection of items


Me: "Well, I had to take a few trips down to the Sim Lim Square area and elsewhere to get what you need. The fans and fan grilles I understand, the wires, LEDs and spray paint maybe, but the hinges? The acrylic cutter? The junk PSU? The aluminium siding???"

Mr. Ham: "Look, I know what I'm doing, m'kay?"


Doesn't look like much, does it?


Me: "But what I really don't understand is the hundred bucks of acrylic you ordered."

Mr. Ham: "All in good time, my good man."


And...


Can't expect much more from humans



Ahhh this is the last time I hire a man to do a ham's work


Mr. Ham: "Hmph. Not up to my extremely exacting standards, but I'll take it."


Completely Unacceptable


Mr. Ham: "This is an example of horrible living quarters. Thankfully, this monstrosity will be taken apart as salvage. The base will make a good tool-tray."


Rust-red Primer, then black or yellow


Mr. Ham: "Alright, decent spray-painting at least. A mirror-finish is too much to expect, I suppose."


I better get overtime for this


Mr. Ham: "Work's moving along alright, thanks to my expertise as an electrical hamgineer."


Lots of sweat later...


Looks different from all the computers I've had


Mr. Ham: "Wonderful! My new hom... I mean, your new computer's almost there! This calls for a party, and by party, I mean honey stars for me!"

I was a little suspicious at this point, but was mollified when Mr. Ham pulled out a leaflet purportedly advertising "Quad core Advanced Hamtech" machines. It's good to know someone at the forefront of technology.


After much more tinkering...


I dub thee, Black Dragonhamster



The future of computing


Me: "It looks pretty. But it won't boot up."

Mr. Ham: "Er. Eh. Yes, you need to install two additional hamster-processors, not enough juice, ifyouknowwhatimean."


They *are* robo-hams


Mr. Ham: "Waitamin. The new hires are gals?"

Me: "Yup, the suppliers/headhunters said they only had female staff."

Mr. Ham: "Whoopee! I'll get my hat!"


One hour later...


Just go away, will you?


Mr. Ham is crying in a corner after getting slapped with two personal protection orders :(


I'm sure that's not the last we'll hear of Mr. Ham or the super-cute Ms. Robos, who are currently getting the BIOS up. It's back to the EPL after a delightful YOG match between Singapore and Montenegro that made me a believer in Singapore football again, and the Challenge is in good shape at P$210/P$100.

P$50 on United to beat Fulham (at 1.48)
P$50 on Aston Villa to beat Newcastle (2.30)



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