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Saturday, Sep 03, 2011 - 21:55 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

Back In The Zone

It has been a sort-of productive couple of weeks, during which I managed to wonder when zombies had found their way into computer science, only to realise that my fellows were talking about "Zone B". I made a passable impression of one in attempting to fix a suspected memory leak in the JavaScript GUI I was building, only to realise belatedly that the issue was with Google Chrome's garbage collection, and that updating to the dev version (from Chrome 13 to 15) fixed it.

Perhaps I should have suspected as much when the thing worked perfectly in Firefox 5; anyhow, Firefox has adopted Chrome's breakneck pace of versioning, with Firefox 6 already out less than two months after Firefox 5 (to put it in perspective, the wait between each of the first three versions was about two years)

Got to know my colleagues a little better after the profs treated us to a buffet at Khansama Tandoori Village. That didn't help the awkwardness of approaching a newly-declared Arsenal fan the day after their 8-2 horror show, though.

Judging from the way Mr. Ham is feverishly gnawing at my toe, it is time for his return to the limelight (sigh). Here we go:


Mr. Ham: Welcome back, welcome back! After those accursed terrorists wrecked my home, your resident crusader of justice has spared no effort in hunting them to the ends of the Earth. The gutless cowards proved exceptionally adept at hiding, and therefore I have put the matter in the good hands of NATO. Gaddafi, if you're reading this, know that your days are numbered!

Me: ... you're saying Gaddafi did it?

Mr. Ham: Him or his agents. It was that or al-Qaeda, and I'm not sure the latter have sufficient standing to mount an attack on me, these days. Mr. Ham doesn't accept vendettas with just any two-bit paramilitary outfit, no sirree!

Me: But your definition of terrorist seems... broad, given that you branded me one yesterday for bringing dinner late.

Mr. Ham: Clear nutritional warfare, the worst sort. But I was magnanimous in not suing you, as you so richly deserved.

But let's not tarry on trifling matters. Herr Ahm and Monsieur Jambon are unfortunately unavailable for today's episode, to their undying regret. They have however endorsed this show as "having the most handsome hamster-host in the history of television". I always knew they were clever, bless them!

They did leave several comments on the post-election happenings:

"It is amazing at how quickly Dr. Tan Cheng Bock's former PAP identity has been swiftly brought back to the fore, as illustrated by one cartoonist."

"The party did stop short of agreeing with Dr. Tan's reading that it was split between the grassroots and elite, though, but this news is analogous to 'Hamster bites man' - i.e., utterly expected. While we reserve our opinion about how responsive the MPs have been to the ground, it is heartening to see that they have kept enough of their wits about them to avoid political suicide by admitting to a divide. That would certainly have been real news, i.e. 'Man bites hamster'"

"In an unexpected twist, confidential American embassy correspondance pertaining to Singapore has turned up on Wikileaks, with one cable revealing that local 'journalists are frustrated by press controls'. Is this even news? However, the government may rightly be wary about loosing the media too much, lest it, for instance, refer to the recent election results as 'tantamount to a humiliation' (it should be noted that The Economist likely has an axe to grind)"



Apparently not (Source: twitpic.com)


"We might easily surmise that some reporters aren't going to get promoted in a jiffy."

"We are watching with interest the development of the People's Association saga, which has seen a PA director openly state that Opposition MPs are not appointed as grassroots advisers because they cannot be expected to promote Government policies like anti-dengue and active ageing, and somehow sent this statement for publication without realising how ridiculous that sounded."

"In truth, we would have been more impressed had she outright declared that the PA would henceforth be the PAP's official grassroots organization; however, seeing as to how the party has benefited from the absence of any discernable line between itself and the government, we expect this state of business to continue."

"And now that all the elections are done with, our take on the ministerial salary cuts is about effectively 30% across the board (whatever formula is used), perhaps slightly more for the highest posts; we are confident that sufficient dignity will be retained by all ministers concerned. Herr Ahm and Monsieur Jambon, political analysts extraordinaire, out."



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