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As we haven't had an official the mr.ham show for well over a year, what is there but to welcome everybody's favourite hamster back on the talk show circuit? *Furry creatures float across the screen as Mr. Ham's theme music hits* Mr. Ham: Enough applause, enough applause! *motions downwards with paws* Really, that's too much! Me: Is anybody even clapping? Or rather, is there even anybody else here? Mr. Ham: Ignorant human, we have moved on to audience replacement technology. Why stop at augmenting the mindless cheering, when I can splice them in from my stock footage of multi-purpose spectators? Let's be honest, while I am extraordinarily entertaining, expecting in-person attendance is still a bit too much in today's hectic environment. *speaks into collar* Technician, can you have Virtual Audience Member No. 263 stand up and yell "That's right, you showed the human!" in post-editing? Thanks. Me: Fine, whatever. Mr. Ham: Yes, and not a word of thanks after I helped to solve your ivory tower problem. Do you know how much trouble it is to gather a thousand hamsters, and get them in line? After exhausting my source of Cult volunteers and sworn brothers, I had to recruit extras! I nearly even had to pay them! Never mind, on to the three bits of current affairs that I have selected - or succintly, he shoots, he strikes, he scores! Goooooooaaaaallllllllllllll! Expanded for those who haven't been keeping up:
We'll take them in reverse order, coz that's how I roll today. Any opinion from the human, who has had some experience in the latter? Score Me: It's not really such a big thing, though you probably would get a free trip to the press building thrown in, but that's exactly what it sounds like - not terribly interesting and probably best as a literal once-in-a-lifetime thing. Mr. Ham: I'd say so, seeing as how you turned out. Me: Hey! But it's true, such is life - you're only as big as your latest accomplishment. Good if you're the chasing pack, not so good if you would like to stop, look back, and not ask youself, is that all there is to it? ...away from the fangs, the fangs of the world Mr. Ham: Uh-huh uh-huh. However, to be honest, one-way censorship is unlikely to be effective when information is in the hands of individuals, and if one really wants to know, word will get out one way or other - and some school principals have ignored the directive anyway. Me: Thing is, the scores are still exactly as important as they were before, in the sense that they control entry to more selective secondary schools. A band system where students and their parents only know which rough percentile band they are in might be worth a thought, since if you know you're in, say, the top third percentile, then you likely have a fair shot at any school you want. Since the assignment of school is based in strict order of score, there is no real strategy involved in listing choices, and there is no real value in knowing the exact score other than ego validation. Strike Mr. Ham: That's important! Say, do you think it is fair for workers to receive unequal pay for equal work? Me: I take it you have moved on to the strike, which began as a mere "refusal to work" before it got upgraded, as per normal. It has since concluded with five ringleaders being charged, and 29 repatriated. The main grievance was, indeed, unequal pay, from a statement on Baidu, which included the piercing lament: ...roughly translated as "Why you (SMRT) look down on (Mainland) Chinese people? Why?" The more incisive part however comes later, where the writer (probably correctly) accuses the SMRT administration of thinking that, since China is so big, they can simply recruit a few hundred drivers under wretched conditions, and get rid of them afterwards, or at any time they prove unruly (which has proven to be exactly what was done) Slightly chillingly, the writer also has a sound grasp of the reality on the ground, asserting that "It is not that we do not know the traffic conditions in Singapore, if a few hundred bus drivers don't turn up for a few days, there will be a great uproar, and all the local news will have to report on the situation" (which was, again, exactly what happened) This led me to recall the Sven vs. Ram bus driver case, in which it is pointed out that there is no way that a Swedish driver's service is actually worth fifty times more than an Indian driver's, but that is what Sweden has chosen. Mr. Ham: You got to hand it to them, they got pride. Me: Slashing costs is one thing, but squeezing the bottom until blue-collar workers won't start a family if they have any financial sense at all is not a winning policy. And everybody knows that public transport will get bailed out, so any slashing likely goes towards more short-term and personal motives. It should also be noted that the drivers from China do get free lodging, which while not very good, does still probably cost the S$275 stated, given that single rooms cost upwards of S$600 to rent nowadays, so they aren't even costing the company much less. Perhaps a lot of trouble could have been saved had they been given the same salary and told to find their own accommodation, and later realise that it was a raw deal? Shoot Mr. Ham: Thoughts on the "more kids important" declaration by the big man of the land? Me: It probably came after the blowback on barely-controlled immigration, and perhaps more importantly the realisation that newcomers are unlikely to be as docile - they moved once, why should they not move again? I'll reserve judgment till next month when actual action to be taken is decided, and if the current state of more-money-to-those-with-money incentives carries on, I abandon what little hope I had. Mr. Ham: Harsh? Me: Put it this way. Readers here may have gotten the idea that I am vehemently anti-establishment. But it would be more accurate to describe me as strongly being some of their practices. I call the local press third-rate mouthpieces because, well, they are recognized as third-rate mouthpieces in the areas that truly matter, the sports section and awards for printer ink quality notwithstanding. In the same vein, why should I hope that, say, our national reserves go belly-up? It would be hard to deny that there has been a heck a lot of smoke, though, with the very aptly-named short-selling firm Muddy Waters (who are evidently not fans of Chinese outfits) calling out Olam for being the new Enron... and guess who's one of their biggest shareholders? But it would be unfair to blame them for everything. I would place a lot on this being the Age of the Irony of Eden. Irony Mr. Ham: Sounds pretentious. Me: Maybe it is. The realisation is basically that the world doesn't need most of its people. Put it this way. Not very long ago, in fact probably till the last few hundred years, the best that could be hoped for at large scales was subsistence - the vast majority tended green leafy things, hauled in grey slimy things, or hit various furry things over the head with a stick for a living. Of course, if you were a good shot you could use a "rock", or even a "pointy stick" if you were real smart, but that was about it. And now, one can farm enough to feed a hundred. Yes, there's a support structure behind it - people still have to create and maintain the machinery, man and upkeep the transport, but even so there's nothing preventing most people from not having to work, or more reasonably, people from having to work much less (which is productivity, after all) More evidence can be taken from recent wars, where nations had most of their able-bodied men conscripted and sent away - and very few actually starved, although many likely got sick of potatoes. There is in fact no physical or technological reason why mankind could not all be inhabiting Eden, or at any rate something very close to it. Mr. Ham: Oh, you discovered that people by and large are self-serving assholes. Have a cookie. Me: Another irony is that a lot of people are likely not, despite your personal philosophy. Mr. Ham: It was a compliment. Me: To me, the biggest issue arising would be the delinking of willing effort and reward. In the past, an individual could sow a field, and barring extreme weather, he would reap - and eat - what he sowed. Now, as said, one can sow and reap for a hundred. Under these circumstances, is there any wonder that many will be unemployed? A direct economic illustration would be that hardworking producers churning out large amounts of goods for which there is relatively inelastic demand can be ruinous for all producers concerned, despite their collective exhibition of the virtue of industry. It is simple to say that everybody can "find something to do", but this is my very point - that we are moving towards a world where many will find that all essential work can be done by some capital-intensive process more efficiently and cheaply. Mr. Ham: Well, there's always services, like my massage lounges. Me: Mostly non-essential, probably very lowly-paid, producing an income gap that will not be naturally closed. Mr. Ham: Hey, look who's reinvented Das Kapital too! Me: I see it as a development entailed by technology and independent of ideology, and await the visionary who will solve the problem of "look, there's frankly not that much for a lot of you to do, so how do we all get along without having the masses scrabble against each other for subsistence?" Mr. Ham: There's always feel-good makework schemes. Roosevelt did it, India's doing it, we can all re-turf our roads every year just cause we can't have guys sitting around on their butts, yay. It's only work if you think it is, like. Next: Exactly As Described
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