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Sunday, Apr 19, 2015 - 21:43 SGT
Posted By: Ham H. Let

Otherwise Occupied



Everybody clear on what they have to do?
(Original source: imgur.com)


Mr. Robo: ...and if we're all done here, uh, it's time to get moving. Briefing dismissed.

*other Roborovskis scramble*

Mr. Ham: Not bad, Mr. Robo. Decent presentational skills you've got there. Pretty impressive how you got so many of your pals over to volunteer as unpaid labou... interns.

Mr. Robo: Well, it's not as if there's much else to do, and it'll probably look good on their resumes. And, *lowers voice to a whisper* Ms. Robo is on the loose again.

Mr. Ham: Ah, so this turned into a hamsteritarian rescue mission after all. Do remind them that we won't offer a health plan, mind. Too many pre-existing conditions. In any case, with the human currently unresponsive, and the markets in a lull, it's time for H.L. Ham to do some social good. Let's start going through your share of the work.

Mr. Robo: Sure thing. *starts flipping through papers* Dogs being loyal... dogs being dumb, the usual. Google likes them, by the way. Bunnies doing some conquering and winning a throne... the guinea pigs are establishing a monarchy, an otter's being cute, a... duck - I think, I'm not certain - has inspired a web translator... um, that seems to be it.

Mr. Ham: Wait, what about that huge stack that you're trying to, badly if I may add, hide behind your back?

Mr. Robo: *glumly* You're not gonna like it, boss.

Mr. Ham: Lemme see. Cats in Hollywood, cats infiltrating religion, cats getting patronized in the arts world, cats entering the professions... *huffily* the rest of it's all like that?


Locked down the plum character roles, too
(Source: cinemacats.com)


Mr. Robo: Er, yes.

Mr. Ham: Bloody heck. And what have *we* got?

Mr. Robo: *pulling note from behind ear* Eh, the late Princess Diana's most notable academic achievement appears to be a school prize for best-kept hamster, so there's that.

Mr. Ham: Always knew she was a kind lady, bless her. But yeah, this is not good. Where's our publicity? We've got F&B talent, we've got musicians, and you hardly hear about it in the media! It's all rigged by the fat cats, I tell ya!

Mr. Robo: And, uh, Hamsterton crashed this week.

Mr. Ham: I say, and right after he got chewed out for spraying a podium hostess with champagne? Political correctness run amok! They've been doing it, like, forever! They say he didn't get the spraying technique quite right, but still. What rubbish. It's because he's a hamster, that's why. It must be.

Mr. Robo: That's Hamilton, not Hamsterton, sir.

Mr. Ham: All the same to me. Anyway, that got depressing quickly. So what have those humans been up to?

Mr. Robo: *flips through other set of notes* Eh, there's some probabilistic programming hype, they're introducing robot chefs - programmable, of course - and the superiority of chess computers has progressed to the extent that human grandmasters are sneaking off to the loo to consult their handphones. Not even sure why they bother anymore.

Mr. Ham: Oh, and I heard that local students are hiring their tutors to do their homework for them, for up to S$250 an hour. I mean, back in the day, you had to at least arrive at school early, and scout out the best fellows to copy from! This generation is getting hopelessly spoonfed.

Mr. Robo: Ah, and here we come to the math puzzle that has put Singapore on the world map.


(Source: forums.hardwarezone.com.sg)


In case you've been living on the moon, the ostensibly Primary Five question spread like wildfire through local channels last week. I wouldn't say it's impossible, but I suppose it could be a good workout for non-experts. It also happens to be a fine demonstration of theory of mind, i.e. "I know you know I know", which some consider the source of so-called human uniqueness - but we know better.

After making the rounds of the Internet, it was revealed that the question was actually from a high school Math Olympiad, which no doubt came as a great relief to stymied parents and tutors. That said, the solution's really not that incredible, and can certainly be arrived at by careful step-by-step application of logic, without any specialized knowledge. Of course, it remained a popular opinion that the Cheryl involved was simply playing hard to get, and was gonna get hers.

Mr. Ham: Yeah, these chicks. Always up to mischief.

Mr. Robo: *shrugs* If you're interested, there's a sequel to the problem. And if you like this sort of thing, there's the famous Blue Eyes and Hundred Prisoner Light Bulb riddles, which operate on similar principles.

Oh, and there has been a delightful social experiment going on, which happens to bear a resemblance to one of the light bulb protocols - Reddit has set up a button. Unlike previous Internet sensations that either involved international competition, or nothing in particular, there's a catch:

  1. Only Reddit accounts set up before the button was created (April 1, 2015), are allowed to click it
  2. Each account can only click the button once. Forever
  3. If the button is ever not clicked for just one minute, the game ends, and... something happens

You might think that this gimmick wouldn't last very long at all, but not only has it lasted twenty days, it turns out that it has been extremely difficult for even thirty seconds to pass before somebody else beats you to the buzzer; of course, it goes without saying that some people have likely set up a bot to snipe for the lowest-possible sub-one second scores.

Mr. Ham: ...Sounds like fun. Eh, back to learning about international affairs on the Polandball sub, then...






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