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Sunday, Mar 27, 2016 - 20:24 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

Lyin' Eyes

Mr. Ham: *flinging door open* Hola, human! Mr. Ro... my team of analysts over at H.L. Ham has been totally right again! Exactly in line with our December projections, the Fed has tamped rate hikes down to half, the very phrasing that we used! I'd say we deserve a bonus...

Me: Shush, and watch:

Did he really say that?
[CVPR 2016 paper]


Yes, now you too can have your favourite celeb shill for you! Anyway, as to how this was achieved - both faces are first detected/tracked, and the mouth region replaced by the closest match from a library of the target's expressions... and all in real-time, whilst compensating for environmental details. This will probably make the public warier of video evidence, as with for images, when Photoshop first became common... and, in case you haven't noticed, you can't escape the long reach of TRUMP, even at computer vision conferences.

Mr. Robo: ...and, as it happens, some interest might be returning to A.I.; to start with, after their hero lost to AlphaGo, South Korea is earmarking one trillion won - close to a billion US bucks - for research. I don't want to know what they'll commit, once they lose in Starcraft. And back here, there's the Jurong Innovation District, but critical market mass remains a very real concern for ventures.

Mr. Ham: Meh, you can't get too much TRUMP. Guy is on a roll - got endorsed by Israel's largest newspaper, then wowed at AIPAC with a totally presidential speech that his son-in-law wrote, to an audience sporting TRUMP yarmulkes... as Obama's Vatican-broked reconciliation with Cuba drew ire from the same. To top it off, before the biased media could scream xenophobia, Brussels got bombed, barely a couple of months after THE TRUMP pointed out the obvious. Obama? Dancing the tango as Bill Clinton dissed his legacy.

Seriously, the Chinese are for TRUMP, the Tibetans are for TRUMP, Jean-Claude Van Damme is for TRUMP, Clint Eastwood is for TRUMP, the law is for TRUMP, the economy is for TRUMP; given that Kasich got Arnold, Cruz's best hope was for Chuck Norris to come over to his side... and he got snubbed. Meanwhile, over in Bernie territory, students professed to be "scared and in pain" after encountering the horror of... TRUMP 2016, written in chalk. Bill Maher was not amused.

Well, it's turning out to be a great election for us hamsters, in any case. TRUMP and his hammy personality makes him almost one of us, Hillary of course is a Rodham, and as for Ted Cruz... well, he's getting a little too close for comfort, but eh, it's been a bloody long time since the indigenous rodent vote was so actively courted.


Friend to all birds and beasts...
well, Bernie got to the birds first, but they'll come around.


Mr. Robo: Oh, which brings us to Microsoft's Twitter A.I. Tay, which they initialized with the language patterns of a nineteen year-old American girl, before releasing her into the wilderness that is the modern Internet to find her own way. Well, it took barely a day before she morphed into a "Hitler-loving sex robot" - if with some hilarious opinions on Cruz. But frankly, what else could Microsoft have expected?

Me: And all this coming as the GOP race sinks further into the mud - the latest saga began with a Cruz SuperPAC releasing an attack ad featuring a barely-clad Melania, which has one wondering this hurts TRUMP how... oh, it was aired in Utah.

Mr. Ham: Oh, the 2009 naughty video capital of America, who are now trying to declare it a "public health crisis"? This recalls the old yarn about always inviting at least two Baptists over, lest they drink all your beer. Then again, they were honest enough to buy adult subscriptions - like, who actually does that nowadays? - so they got that going for them.

Me: And, frankly, I really like their approach to the afterlife - sure, you gotta tick all the boxes to get the gold star with kisses, but there are some pretty decent consolation prizes for those who fall short. Sure beats the everlasting torment and lakes of brimstone from their competitors.

But back to the drama. After some royal poo-flinging, the likes of which has not been seen since John Adams described Thomas Jefferson as "the son of a half-breed Indian squaw" - though to be fair, Jefferson called him a "hermaphroditical character" first - there broke... a Ted Cruz sex scandal. Initial reaction was mostly disbelief that Cruz actually got laid by five women, but after they were identified from badly-disguised photos, the developing scandal has entered the mainstream.

Mr. Ham: ...Personally, I'm fine with it.

Me: ...and to top it all off, despite Cruz understandably laying it on TRUMP, the story was apparently leaked by... Rubio. Hong Kong TVB dramas have nothing on this, folks!

Whew, it's just as well that Singapore remains orderly and dignified, with proper deference afforded our leaders...


一拜, 二拜, 三拜!
 (Original source: facebook.com)

...well, our incumbent political party-run kindergarten isn't taking any chances with the indoctrination process, having arranged obedience training sessions for our impressionable juniors. And, the irony is, this is by all indications not what the man himself would have wanted. But, as it happens, one's message can get distorted all too easily - see LKY or TRUMP?

It doesn't stop there either, with LKY-inspired workbooks distributed to all secondary schools, Yes, he did a lot, but still.

Mr. Ham: Meanwhile, that's ten months' jail for running a crappy alt-news site - but given that it raked in near half a million dollars in ad income, in about one-and-a-half years, it was also some pretty impressive entrepreneurship. Which reminds me, human, are you interested in...

Me: No.



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