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Tuesday, Feb 12, 2013 - 01:01 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

It Continues

Stated Problem: Not enough babies, want more babies, birthday wish for more babies, pretty please?

Solution: Don't build childcare centres. Huat ah!




Lyrics - memory


In other exciting news, the Population White Paper has been passed (surprise) over token objections, some absentees-not-abstentations due to the Whip notwithstanding. They have also however made to allow demonstrations (gasp) at Hong Lim Park, which could be viewed as a measured concession to outflank the SDP set.

Over in Merrie England, King Richard III has been found beneath a carpark, and as far as is known, the local authorities have been magnanimous in waiving his compounded fines. More seriously, this will probably lead to a rehabilitation of his image - the guy's lain low for half a millenium, he deserves a second hearing. Anything for some royal pomp and ceremony, eh?

Then again, such revisionism is only to be expected; historians can only mine the vein of "he was a real dick" (which he, well, was) for so long before it gets boring, so any hint that he petted puppies should be as manna from heaven for antiquarians aching for new material. Expect a TV series on brave Richard the Lionhearted standing against those scheming Tudors, who did write the histories of that period.

Which only goes to show the power of time - give it another few centuries, and it'll become fashionable to go on about how a certain one-balled pencil-moustached fellow was merely a harmless vegetarian animal-fancier who just needed some love, hugs and encouragement...

While we're on this, the Pope is quitting. If this doesn't come as a shock, it should be, 'cause it's just not done - it's supposed to be a job for life, just like being King or Queen of England. Well, there's been a glaring vacancy in the doomsday prediction department since December, so I guess this will have to do.

But spare a thought for Iran and North Korea here - they've been working towards the Big Kaboom for so long that it would be almost cruel to go ahead without their active participation. Iran first - after never hearing the end of Missileshopgate, they abandoned Adobe this time and promptly got caught out for posting photos of different monkeys on their latest space launch claims. The sad thing is, they were probably telling the truth this time, so the moral of the story is that it's worth the money to hire a true Photoshop expert.

And now to North Korea. With Mr. Ham's new hero, Kim Junior II finding that his adorable fresh-faced chubbiness is losing its allure with the usual food donors, he's taken a leaf out of dad's playbook, which mostly consists of whispering menacingly about possible nuclear warheads. Remember our take on Supreme Commander 3 slightly over a year ago? As it turns out, we were completely no match for North Korea's reality - they actually bootlegged Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 for their latest propaganda video:


Try as you might, you just can't make this up:
"Somewhere in the United States, black clouds of smoke are billowing. It seems that the nest of wickedness is ablaze."
(Somebody's Fourth of July barbeque probably caught fire)


Finally, over in the US, a rogue cop killed three people in a protest against alleged corruption in the LAPD. Public sympathy appeared to be with the police... at least until multiple officers mistook two middle-aged Latina ladies delivering newspapers for one large black man, and riddled their pickup with bullets, hitting both (thankfully not fatally). The force did generously offer to provide a new truck, but this probably got some rooting for the fugitive, who is still at large.


More Of The Same

Somehow, Chinese New Year barely feels like it nowadays. Maybe part of it was down to the rain, but there were nary any public decorations to be seen in the estates, and perhaps even more tellingly, no mahjong tiles could be heard in the wee hours. Saints did upset City, so there's one jackpot there. Oh, and Whatsapp greetings have moved with the times too.

Fixed up my brother's computer to host Counter-Strike 1.6 through port forwarding, which led me to rediscover the delight of headshots (or more usually, getting headshotted given the latency). I ended up purchasing it through Steam for about five bucks once I got back, together with the upcoming SimCity reboot. That's my leisure set for a few months then.

This year's blackjack record: ninety cents nett (returned) off a two-dollar bankroll. Tried some Cluedo variant card game too, not too hot on it (yet). Reactivated the 66 remaining Dragon Court accounts too, some things never change.



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Next: Down That Avenue


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Fare Thee Well Dear Leader
Best Korea
Continued
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The Winds Of Jurong
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2 comments

anonymous said...
eh
can u write up a modified version of CounterStrike
make it CockStrike

so all the different guns are different cocks

shotgun: black cock
MP5: white cock
sniper rifle: chinese cock
knife: do penis fencing


headshot become cumshot
so the player walk around the screen in first person view with a big cock sticking out


February 12, 2013 - 07:58 SGT     
Mr. Ham said...
Dear Valued Commenter,

We do not review unsolicited game submissions, return submissions, or make comments on submissions we haven't reviewed.

If you have an idea for a game, we recommend that you contact an agent, broker, or other experienced game industry professional. They can assist you further in your effort to get a game idea published or submitted.

Secondary to this advice is that, CounterStrike's primary audience being deprived horny male teenagers, this is probably already in development.

We thank you for your kind suggestions.


February 12, 2013 - 14:15 SGT     

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February 26, 2014 - 16:37 SGT     

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