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- sport - End of the one-week hols. That was fast. Every day a woman stood on her porch and shouted, "Praise the Lord!" And every day the atheist next door yelled back, "There is no Lord!" One day she prayed. "Lord, I'm hungry. Please send me some groceries." The next morning she found a big bag of food on the stairs. "Praise the Lord," she shouted. "I told you there was no Lord," the neighbour said. "I bought those groceries." "Praise the Lord," said the woman. "He not only sent me groceries, he made the devil pay for them." Finally got around to cancelling my Reader's Digest subscription, but here's one last guffaw from their jokes section. Most of them are nowhere near new, but every issue generally has a couple I have never heard of. Speaking of which, Survivor: Cook Islands, the latest incarnation of that grandpappy of reality TV shows, has got the public abuzz because the contestants are - gasp - segregated by race! Where can they go on to from that? The battle of the sexes? Passé since Billie Jean King smacked Bobby Riggs in tennis. Age? Been there, done that, over the protestations of rabid age-discrimination lobbyists. What can possibly top race as a controversial hotspot, after the evils of the Holocaust and slavery? Introducing Survivor: Holy Absolute Crusade Jihad Enlightenment Nirvana Temporal World! Guaranteed to have ratings shoot through the roof. Seriously, if the producers want to be inappropriate, they may as well go the whole hog and slaughter that last sacred golden calf too. I'll definitely be watching that, and I'm not making any apologies whatsoever for doing so either. The gods got their attitudes on gambling right, I suppose. Negative $38.90 from last week's pretend bets, for $309.40/$400 over four weeks - that's almost a quarter of capital lost, a pretty deep hole. So, is that the end of my experiment? Hardly. So why no Saturday predictions? Because Man U are playing today, and I'm not going to spread my dough like butter, that is, thinly. Which turned out for the better, since my usual small punts on the big teams would have failed. Villa to draw CSKA London (Chelski, hur hur)? Wouldn't have touched that with any confidence. Charlton to lose by just one? Pool to crash 0-2 to Bolton? All likely losers. Devil Week then: $60 on Man U (-1.5) vs Newcastle (at 1.80) - No pussyfooting around $10 on two goals in the above game (3.50) $10 on H-H in the above game (1.65) $20 on Portsmouth to draw Tottenham (3.15) - Can see I don't fancy Spurs' chances much Next: This Week And The Next
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