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Monday, Aug 04, 2008 - 00:09 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

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Joint Jam

One of these joints, is not the same as the others

Dr. Fish is IN Dr. Fish: *adjusts spectacles* Let's see what we haf here. Ah, ze middle joint, eez beeg, no? *ahems* Sry, that's the German pet food speaking. Ok, it looks like the proximal interphalangeal (PIP) joint of your right ring finger has suffered a compression injury. At least, dat's what Google says.

Me: How, ah?

Dr. Fish: Wikipedia says be hero and immediately pull the joint straight after it is jammed. I advise you to bite on a hanky or bullet to help tahan.

Heck, bite anything. Your friend also can.

Me: Erm that was like hours ago leh. Too late.

Dr. Fish: Hmph. Okay, just eat more rice.

Me: Hor?

Dr. Fish: Oh sorry. It's RICE - Rest the joint, apply ice, compress it and elevate above heart level.

Me: Actually, it's not the first time for this joint. I had exactly the same injury playing basketball in NS. Took a couple of years to fully heal that time, as measured by the ability to crack that knuckle painlessly again. But it was far worse then, I couldn't do a Vulcan salute for ages.

Dr. Fish: *nods understandingly* Uh huh.

Me: It's not even that painful or inconvenient, more of irritating. You know, that feeling when you absentmindedly crack each knuckle in turn and they go, *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *OWWWW!* *...* So I would seriously prefer it if it didn't take a year this time.

Dr. Fish: Here's a box of Salonpas® patches. Next!

Me: Eh you got listen or not one. I'm not after pain relief, I just want the joint problem gone.

Or I squeeze you.

*Dr. Fish bites off affected finger*

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