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Sunday, June 14, 2009 - 09:14 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

- - + -
Bathing In London

"Never meet your heroes."
- as seen on PvPOnline, and explained later

Warning: This (four days) is the longest I've gone without posting on this grad trip, and details may be relatively sparse.


10 June



Left Astley House in York after yet more bread and cornflakes for breakfast, sent my postcards (62p each to Singapore) and planned to visit Cambridge en route to Bath. Unfortunately, the purveyor of so much O and A-Level heartache was blanketed by rain, so we had few regrets about taking a few meaningless photos [1] and continuing our journey. Lunch: freshbite sandwiches [2] and crisps, washed down with fanta.

Played yet more cards [3] to pass time on the train, then got greeted by a minotaur Giant Horned Hamster and a Bunny [4] in Bath. Our new place of residence, St. Christopher's Inns, was thankfully in a central location - and located above a Belushi's bar. It wasn't quite the dark, smoky and crazy-wild kind of bar, thankfully again, and very conveniently it was screening England vs. Andorra at 8:15 p.m., right after the Sharks vs. Lions rugby match.

Had dinner at the bar to justify our seats, and I had sausages and mash(ed potatoes) [5], which began to have me doubting the dubious reputation of English food. sel had the job of dragging out our tenure by eating slowly, and he even ordered a Singapore Sling (or cough syrup, depending on who you believe), as England's millionaires made short work of the Andorran part-timers (6-0) [6]. Hooray.

Walked the streets of Bath after ten in an attempt to restock our supply of bottled water, but apparently 24-hour stores aren't the custom here. Two nice young Asian ladies offered their help, but to no avail, and we went to our rest (but not before watching the first couple of episodes of Friends in the TV room, as we couldn't get the DVD player to work for American Pie) slightly thirsty. In Bath.


11 June



The top bunk [1] of Roome 8 was comfortable enough (we were told to take beds C, D and H, but were unable to find any labels), though the presence of other occupants meant that I was reluctant to unpack more than the bare minimum. Wifi from the neighbouring Podium shopping centre was available, but the environment was not conducive to typing.

More of the same for breakfast [2], and we headed down to the Roman Baths, which are, as the name suggests, an excavation of a natural hot spring bath built up by the Romans [3]. We got the tickets that were bundled with admission to the Fashion Museum, a must-see in the guidebook. Having an audioguide made a great difference in our understanding, and perhaps the most memorable part of the tour was on the curses made by ancient Romans. Lost your cloak? Easy, scratch out a list of whomever you suspect has taken it on a bit of pewter, imploring a goddess to make their blood run as water.

Enjoyed the uncommon but easy-listening music produced by a street performer [4] for a bit after sipping a complimentary glass of Bath water (not very good), then munched a ham sandwich [5] (with pigeons and seagulls [!} ready to pick up any scraps) before we availed ourselves of a free two-hour Bath walking tour, led by Mayor of Bath honorary guides [6], in our case an elderly white-haired but still sprightly lady.

We learnt quite a bit more on the town (which was to be expected, as we knew next to zilch previously), much of which related to Richard Nash, who appointed himself Master of Ceremonies in 1735 and for the rest of his life shaped much of society in Bath.

We wouldn't have guessed that the arrangement of houses in The Circus wasn't symmetrical either (10-11-12 instead of 11-11-11), not noticed the overhanging additions to houses that were actually Hanging Toilets, when residents started demanding the convenience of loos by bedrooms. No rare sightings of Falling Toilets, though. And we couldn't have guessed that the head of the statue on the left (sinister side, remember?) of Bath Abbey is smaller due to being used for archery practice by Cromwell's troops, could we?


Windows errors came before Microsoft


But the craziest discovery of them all was the window tax, levied starting 1696, that encouraged homeowners to reduce their tax liabilities by either removing windows, or rebuilding them close to each other to be counted as a single window.

The tour ended at four sharp, and we popped over to the Fashion Museum. Let's just say that we wouldn't have rated it a must-see, but I guess it hinges on your tastes. Being able to try out corsets wasn't our idea of having a good time. There was a drawing contest where visitors could win a year's free entry, and from the looks of it [7] the organizers are going to have a hard time finding a winner.

Microwaved Ham & Mushroom Tagliatelle [8] for dinner (alvin's Faggots & Mash even got a photo request) while watching The Simpsons on tape and talking with a Malaysian in the TV room, as we waited till 8 p.m. for the highly-touted Bizarre Bath walk [9]. We were not to be disappointed.

Unfortunately, describing it too deeply might spoil the show for those who might participate in the future, so let me just affirm that it's probably the best five pounds I have spent in England thus far. I'll also say that it mentions very little history (as they make clear from the beginning), isn't much of a walk either, and isn't even about Bath much; it is, however, a bunch of laughs (and as our guide/comedian said on hearing that a member of the audience was German, "This is a comedy walk!").

His ad-lib abilities were quite astonishing, and it's a skill I really wish to master someday. Even he can't get them all, though, and laughing at oneself a bit seems to help a lot during awkward moments of silence. Let's face it, people would rather see a chained bunny tossed into a river than nearly two thousand years of history - have I said too much?


12 June



Packed (easy to do as I had hardly taken anything out) and left for Salisbury, a historic town in its own right, but just a stopover on the way to Stonehenge for us. Heard that Real's 80 million pound bid for C. Ronaldo had been accepted - shock, horror, where do the underachieving buggers get their money from?

We did pick up another ham sandwich [1] for lunch there, not before depositing our baggage at the Cat Tavern (which ironically had several dogs but no cats) and boarding a bus for Amesbury, which we had read was a half-hour's walk from the big pile of old rocks. But hey, they give a free monument in all your cities in Civilization 4, so it must be something.

A friendly local pointed us in the right direction, and we were well pleased to spot a Stonehenge - 2 miles sign after awhile. We then came across a fork and another sign claiming two-and-a-half miles to the site, and we decided to take the nice farm route. It seemed a great idea at first, as we entered an idyllic landscape of green fields and hills as far as the eye could see, something which is quite impossible in Singapore.

After more marching and sporadic singing of army songs, we had the stones in our sights [4], but there the path abruptly ended. Disbelieving, we branched out and backtracked, but found nothing, and quite indignant at being misled, we felt justified in cutting across the final cereal field as a last resort. We did try to follow the tractor tracks whenever possible to minimize damage, and moreover the thigh-high grasses would provide good cover in case a shotgun-wielding farmer suddenly sprang out of nowhere. This would have been the first time my military training has found direct practical usage.

We got through without incident, but were confronted by a final obstacle - a barbed wire fence. Jumper alvin was confident enough to bet his nuts on vaulting it with hand support, but the rest of us decided that discretion was the better part of possible castration, and put our leopard-crawling skills to good use.


I rocks


Got charged over five pounds for the privilege of rounding the rocks with an audioguide, and we made the most of it with a lot of photos. To be honest, it was slightly smaller and less impressive than I had imagined, ditto with most of the landmarks (cathedrals, stadiums, etc) we had visited thus far, therefore the admonition on never meeting one's heroes. One may be disappointed.

Enquired about taking a bus back, but as that proved impossible, we got smart and took the route along the major road back to town. Train to London followed, where we once more split up with alvin, who had another lobang. Sel and I then bought sandwiches from Marks & Spencer for dinner [5] and redirected ourselves to St. Mary's Cray, where an old lady proved incredibly helpful with directions, such that we found the Mary Rose Hotel (or rather, Inn) without too much trouble.

Room 34 [6] was tucked away in a cosy corner, and was quite adequate, expect for the lack of Wifi. There weren't even any other sources I could expect to piggyback on. No worries, there's Wifi in the lounge. But no power. Argh. In the end, I just took a bath (bathtub only, no shower) and slept.


Will be camping at Stansted tomorrow night, so don't expect another update so soon...



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Next: To Kingdom Come And Gone


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A Tent In Florence
Adiós Spain Hello England
Three Singaporeans Two Mexicans And A Kenyan
Ten Thousand Kilometres
Final Days In Italy

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4 comments


C.Wenhoo said...

wah. i would have thought stonehenge would be crowded like siao. lidat just look like ordinary countryside leh


June 14, 2009 - 14:22 SGT     

gilbert said...

ah actually got a lot of pple but we just asked all of them to kindly siam for a while


June 14, 2009 - 15:59 SGT     

M:) said...

enjoy yrself but be alert n attentive to yr surrounding.


June 14, 2009 - 20:49 SGT     

C.wenhoo said...

is it they scared of ham gay bacon


June 15, 2009 - 18:56 SGT     


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