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Saturday, May 11, 2013 - 15:56 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

Fergie Fergie Sign Him Up

It's happened. Forget the Moon landing, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the end of the Cold War, the debut of Gangnam Style.

Sir Alex Ferguson has retired.

Oh, the numbers are being splashed about - 38 trophies, comprising 13 league titles (among clubs, only the unperched Liverpool have more, by the way), five FA cups (only seven other clubs have more), four League Cups, two Champions Leagues, some international odds and ends, and ten Community Shields (padding, fair enough), and all that in twenty-seven years. In perspective, I was like two years old when he took charge, and half the current squad hadn't even been born.


[N.B. For Super Cup, read Community Shield]
(Source: visual.ly)


Looking at it from yet another direction, the average tenure of a football manager is barely more than two seasons. That would be equivalent to having an 850 year-old guy striding about in a world where the life expectancy is 67! Personally, I half-expected that they would have to carry him out, and he certainly looked like he could go on for another decade from how vigorously he could still jump up and tap at his watch.

But the unthinkable has come upon us, and after the initial shock, the next question would naturally be - who would fill those inhuman boots? Names were bandied about: Klopp? Guardiola? Darren Ferguson? An old boy such as Blanc, Bruce, Solskjaer, Giggs, Cantona? Or maybe even *gasp* Wenger or Benitez (who has been gracious in his tributes, and is not doing too badly at Chelsea either)?

To me, though, there were only two clear-cut frontrunners. José Mourinho, for his sheer panache (though apparently it hasn't gone down too well with those who really mattered)... and David Moyes, because, well, a lot of people said so, and who can argue with this analysis on M&M from the scintillating intellectual hotbed that is RedCafe?

AchievementsMourinhoMoyes
Won EPLYesNo
Won Champions LeagueYesNo
Won La LigaYesNo
Won Serie AYesNo
Won FA CupYesNo
Won Community ShieldYesNo
Managed top sidesYesNo
Managed team of starsYesNo
Attracts playersYesMeh
Attracts mediaYesMeh
Attracts sponsorsYesMeh
Can handle pressureYesUnknown
Being ScottishNoYes

That said, Moyes' background mirrors Ferguson's almost freakishly - working class, tough upbringing, long and not-very-good playing career, over a decade of managerial experience elsewhere with fair success. While not as exciting an appointment as JoMo would have been, I can easily see Moyes delivering the title in his first season, especially as he might even buy a decent midfielder - or bring Fellaini.

All the wit sparkling over at the RedCafe has further thrown up a catchy chant to welcome the incoming manager:



(To the tune of Boys Boys Boys)

Moyes, Moyes, Moyes
I'm lookin' for a good time
Moyes, Moyes, Moyes
Get ready for my luv'

And it's not as if Sir Alex is going anywhere, either. Here's to next season! Don't worry!


Re: Follow-ups

On the Reagan-Thatcher complex skimmed in our piece on the Iron Lady, the dean of the LKY School of Public Policy has just opined that it might have gone too far, and the "trickle-down effect" might be illusory after all. Which furthers the point that, by-and-by, nobody cares what academics say.

On 3D printing, the first (almost) completely printed gun has been demonstrated (so it seems that all the frenzy over lost firing pins in National Service was for a reason... except that a common nail does the job too). While, like its namesake, it isn't going to compete with the offerings of big weapons manufacturers anytime soon, the cat is irrevocably out of the bag with 3D printers only going to get better and cheaper.

The bad news first: I see no practical method of preventing weapon parts being created, without cripping the 3D printers to an extent that would make them barely usable. Anti-counterfeiting patterns are for one immediately out, since they have no impact on usability. The best I can think of is a hardware lock on producing barrels with certain internal diameters, but I'll bet that numerous ways will be found to overcome any such limitation as soon as it is set.

Then the good news: The technology doesn't actually bring anything new to the table. If a person really wanted to, he could have rigged up a zip gun from everyday materials, anytime (guns aren't that complicated beasts, just ask the AK-47). As long as wannabe users don't have access to cartridges (with, you know, real propellant), they would be better served getting proficient with a slingshot.

The problem (so some say) in America (and many other places) is that they are literally dripping with ammunition - heck, one can check an app, drive down to the friendly neighbourhood Walmart and grab a few cans of 5.56mm or 7.62mm, along with a six-pack of Miller Genuine Draft, no questions asked. This is, fortunately, not the case here, so those with pretensions of gnawing on snakes in the Marines will have to make do with Call of Duty and other virtual tests. It's probably for the best.

Fun statistic of the day: By direct extrapolation of the 7.7% average annual increase [N.B. Actually closer to 7.3% if compounded instead of just divided, but let's not quibble overly] in CPF minimum sum for the last sixteen years, the minimum sum will exceed S$1 million by 2039 (right when yours truly hits 55). Millionaire or bust, then!


And seventy-eight thousand others have the same idea
[N.B. If nothing else, that's over $3 million for the organizers]


Might-be-hilarious accompanying news: The government is now against gambling (at least when they don't get a cut)

Finally: The Raspberry Pi has been turned into an always-on file server for now, while it awaits its next calling.


Malaysia Boleh!

Yes, I can be rather critical of our authorities here, but once in a while things happen that force me to admit that they aren't that bad. The recently-concluded Malaysian general election featured the increasingly-unpopular incumbents, hobbled by accusations of money politics, underhanded dealings, blatant gerrymandering (then again...) and mostly being out of touch, against an increasingly-vocal Opposition (sound familiar?)

While some of the accusations might not be true on closer inspection, the overall picture, with non-indelible halal ink, phantom voters (it did get a bit ugly), mysterious extra ballot boxes and very timely blackouts (which likely inspired the Facebook protest) all coming into play, cumulating in a quite statistically-improbable finish to the race... isn't pretty.

[N.B. For completeness, see another view]


No lack of funny commentary
(Source: Facebook)


Perhaps lost among the hoopla is that after all that effort, the Barisan Nasional still lost the popular vote, with less than 47% to the Pakatan Rakyat's majority of 50.87%. Not only that, incumbent-controlled media wasted no time in going the racial route, conveniently ignoring the fact that at less than 23% of the population, most of the votes against them couldn't have come from that quarter.

The new PM has his work cut out for him.

Further to this, one popular school of thought is that we shouldn't be too bothered by all the shenanigans going on - having neighbours who are in a mess is good for us, as we would be crushed by sheer weight of numbers if they got their act together. Myself, though, I'm not sold on this beggar-thy-neighbour philosophy - even if purely out of self-interest, I don't see how that would be beneficial in the long term, but if relative attainment is the goal, I see how it makes sense.



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