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 That's it for now then, Brazil. So sorry. (Source: Somewhere on the Internet) [Full gif (13.7MB)] So it's ended as foreseen, but before that, there was the small matter of the unloved third-place match. One could compare the ordeal to the duty of a ritual executioner - no particular honour is attained for a successful undertaking, yet disgrace follows failure. It is no wonder then that van Gaal was reluctant to go through with it, but they still hammered a sorry Brazil 3-0 anyway, to add to the hosts' misery. The afflicted personnel could hardly melt away quickly enough, as the repercussions reverberated through the political arena, which was picked up on by a State's Times editor. We did say nobody was taking it seriously... All attention was on the showpiece match, with the Germans finally getting acknowledged by the general public (as well as animators and cartoonists). While Germany did dominate, Argentina could very well have stolen it had Higuain kept his nerve, a testament to how the slightest margins can count. The ball somehow deigned to enter either net to the consternation of the fans (and a certain soon-to-be-rich Singaporean lad), with the tension finally broken by... a Russian prankster, whose one-man pitch invasion was tweeted by, of all people, LeBron James (whose Cavaliers return happens to be less of a sacrifice than might be thought) This was not doing the bleary-eyed worldwide audience much good, even if the proceedings were not exactly boring. Penalties were looking the likeliest outcome... and then in the 113th minute, Mario Götze chested it down and struck it sweetly across the goalie and inside the far post, earning himself, and the rest of his side, sporting immortality. Argentina gave it their all in the remaining time, but Neuer was unflappable, and it came down to the last kick - Messi, (almost) indisputably the best player of his generation, with a free-kick to save his country, and maybe, just maybe, even win it. Anti-climatically, it flew into the night sky of Rio, and with it perhaps Messi's best hope of breaking into the absolute top pantheon of football's gods. He snagged the probably-undeserved (as he himself acknowledged) Golden Ball, but in the circumstances, it was scant consolation.  My dear Francis, symbolism has power. (Source: imgur.com) With the winners decided, the R&R began - wives and girlfriends offered their congratulations or commiserations as (in)appropriate, while Podolski got his son started early on spot kicks (youth development and playing together are probable factors in their success - their Bayern core thrashing Spain's Barcelona core could, in hindsight, represent a passing of the baton). To the relief of humanity, the victors graciously declined to impose their dance on the vanquished, as kids kickstarted the healing process, and stars put themselves in the shop window. Oh, and some rioting and the usual burning of jerseys of former heroes, but one can't have it all. Still, when it's over, it's over, and after the last stragglers leave the Maracanã, only emptiness remains... A New Hamster Friend Another day, another visit to the offices of H.L. Ham. Mr. Ham: *munching on seafood treats* Mr dear human! Welcome! I've somebody you simply have to meet - I've mentioned him last year - and I've managed to talk him down into halving his usual appearance fee, only for you! Me: Wait, aren't those the tidbits you told me to get for Mr. Fish in celebration of the World Cup bets coming off, but which he happened to be allergic to? Mr. Ham: *innocently* That's dreadful! What a pity! But, we can't let good food go to waste, can we? *stuffs mouth* Me: And, uh, what's up with Mr. Robo? I passed by him in the corridor, and he's... ripping into old documents with his teeth in a rage. Quite unlike him. Mr. Ham: Oh, that. I was just asking him to explain machine learning to me, before casually letting on that I had correctly bet on Götze to score the winning goal, because you got more of his stickers than any other player. Apparently, lucky guessing over stats is a touchy subject with Mr. Robo. Me: ...is that all there is to it? And you didn't actually wager on that, did you, given that he wasn't going to start? Mr. Ham: Ok, ok, the shredder broke down, and I had just run out of fresh bedding, so clearly something had to be done. I call it effective motivation of employees. But enough about me, let me see Signor Prosciutto in. *bustles out of room* Me: I wonder what new style of mustache he's obtained. Hmm, looks like another handlebar. Sig. Prosciutto: *gesturing affably* Chiedere perdono? Me: Oh, nothing. Sig. Prosciutto: *pumping hand in handshake* Buongiorno, human! As you no doubt already know, I am Signor Prosciutto, dashingly irresistable Italian investment banker hamster, and business partner of Mr. Ham, who is... Me: ...very smart, damn hamsome and an all-round bro, among his other endearing qualities, right? Sig. Prosciutto: *pats arm enthusiastically* Yes, yes! I knew you had a discerning eye. Say, shame about the book banning going on here, don't you think? Me: Alright, a quick recap on this - a week or so ago, the National Library Board (NLB) declared that they would pulp several childrens' books for ostensible "homosexual themes", having already withdrawn them some time back. The backlash was swift, both from local writers and international observers, and despite initially insisting that the ban was sadly not up for debate, higher-ups eventually struck a compromise whereby two of the affected titles would be moved to the adult section. Now, a little perspective - the star focus of the affair, And Tango Makes Three, has been in past years one of the most challenged books in American libraries, detailing as it does the abominable scourge of... gay penguins. While I wouldn't count out the possibility that the penguin couple were just clueless - I mean, without distinguishing features, they all look the same to me - their cosy relationship is extensively documented.  Dogs and cats! Living together! Helping one another! (Source: Somewhere on the Internet) This development can be considered in light of the increasingly-public tussles between supporters of alternative lifestyles and the more conservative set in recent years, which has provided such entertainment as the AWARE coup in 2009. The latter are certainly better-represented in the establishment, as evidenced by the official stance on "community norms", although their own poll found that 40% weren't even aware of the controversy, and of those that were, only 43% supported the pulping. Still, since the headline was likely predetermined, this apparently amounts to "substantial support", when I mostly see "meh". Yes, Signor Prosciutto, you have something to say? Sig. Prosciutto: Well, personally, I see all this as largely posturing. After all, Tango remains on sale in bookstores, where youngsters might - gasp - browse through it, A-mei's Rainbow can be played on the radio but not during live shows, while an issue of Archie got pulled from bookstores by the MDA for depicting gay marriage, though I doubt it ever gets more risqué than the cover itself. The punchline, however, is that the offending comic book is available from the NLB. This more or less illustrates the futility of chasing shadows for purposes of censorship nowadays, which your authorities have at least more or less acknowledged with online pr0n; let's face it, if they had tried to strictly enforce that - which they technically well could have - prisons would be filled many times over capacity. It is a great relief, then, that they seem to be content with hoarding all the best pics for themselves.  Happy NSA employee doing "research" (Source: imgur.com) Me: Indeed. It has in fact been suggested that the removal is to preserve consistency with the establishment stance, but one suspects that the practical impact on kids is actually near zero. If kids would be influenced by cohabitating penguins, what about Ernie & Bert? Or Batman & Robin? Thor turning female... ok, that's mostly a marketing gimmick. Harry Potter? Wait, that actually happened... or the moral decay of soccer? Thing is, I actually like those with some convictions, even if there is no real hope of observing all the details - as the Game of Thrones quote goes, "So many vows...they make you swear and swear. Defend the king. Obey the king. Keep his secrets. Do his bidding. Your life for his. But obey your father. Love your sister. Protect the innocent. Defend the weak. Respect the gods. Obey the laws. It's too much. No matter what you do, you're forsaking one vow or the other." Sig. Prosciutto: But what if your dad orders you to kill the king, before stealing from a temple to feed the weak? Me: We have the makings of a Greek tragedy right there. Cut to the bone, it remains simply do as the Good Book says... other for the examples that we don't follow. And magic thinking only goes our way, because Chosen People. It is probably not a complete coincidence that one of the newer Abrahamic offshoots has gotten about to bullying their seniors and discovering the joys of "convert, cough up, or chop chop", given that it runs in the family. Maybe it's the hormones, they seem to get frisky about 1400 years old. It gets around, and would be very snarkable were it not actually so sad. Of course, conflict arises from other causes too, as Malaysia Airlines became the unluckiest carrier of all time, having another of their planes downed on the Ukrainian border. Bearing in mind that none of the involved parties can be expected to be particularly honest, the likeliest explanation appears to be that Ukrainian rebels (i.e. freedom fighters, to the Russians) got their hands on a shiny BUK launcher, an excited radar operator spotted an object at the no-fly limit, and an eager and patriotic commander got an itchy trigger finger.  The temptation... (Source: wikipedia.org) With the shit having very much hit the fan, it transitioned into a propaganda battle, and I frankly don't see how Putin is gonna get himself out of this one, for all the cover ups and totally wacky theories being bandied about. However, to give a sense of proportion on what can be expected here, do remember the American response after they shot down an Iranian passenger jet in 1988 - reluctant compensation after eight years, and no apology! Or, in the very words of the Vice Leader of the Free World then: "I will never apologize for the United States. I don't care what the facts are." How, then, can more be expected from Pootie-Poot? Singapore is, thankfully, uninvolved in such superpower politics, but the national carrier did not exactly cover itself in glory with a Facebook update that they were not using Ukrainian airspace, which smelt rather unsettlingly of past "income opportunity" messages from fellow subsidiaries of Our Most Successful Investment Firm. And, as it turns out, this was not even true, with them actually the second-heaviest user of that flight path, with an SQ plane actually only 25km from the doomed MH17 when it was hit. Though, they could actually have a good reason for daring to wing it... but probably not. Sig. Prosciutto: I agree. My, we're over our agreed time. Pleased to have met you. So... Me: Wait, weren't you here to give your insights on China's economy? Sig. Prosciutto: Now, we wouldn't want to botch such an important topic with a cursory overview, would we? Let's save it for my next paid session. Agreed? Great. Next: Public Service Hannouncement
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