Powered by glolg
Display Preferences Most Recent Entries Chatterbox Blog Links Site Statistics Category Tags About Me, Myself and Gilbert XML RSS Feed
Sunday, Apr 05, 2015 - 19:41 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

Another Typical Day

So, here it came - another utterly mundane day in the Mr. Human household (from the hamsters' perspective). Bleary-eyed, I made my way to the kitchen table, to be greeted by the customary morning sight:


Note: The coffee is theirs
(Original source: wallpaperswide.com)


Me: Nice hat, Mr. Ham. And how are your... uh... sensitive parts, Mr. Robo? Stop humming the refrain from Destruction of the Divine Orbs, Mr. Ham!

Mr. Ham: ...Sol et luna, dona eis requiem. Fine, fine, let this place continue to be a cultural wasteland. So, wassup?

Me: Not much. Graphics cards overheated again, waiting on experimental results, the usual. Oh, the Pratchett books I ordered arrived. Unseen Academicals, Jingo, Making Money. All of which, I would realise after the fact, were a great deal more relevant to my interests than I had imagined.

For Unseen Academicals, we've covered the development of football often enough here, while as for Jingo's take on disputed new territory, there's the Spratly Islands spat, which seems to have been reignited in the past week by the revelation that China's pursuing land reclamation on a grand scale in the area; another leaf out of the Singapore playbook (which has apparently led to Indonesia missing a few dozen small islands)... that others are learning from too.

And then there's Making Money, much of the plot revolving about the desire of Ankh-Morpork's ruling tyrant to streamline the Mint such that a penny costs, well, less than a penny to produce (in real life, it does take about two pennies). Readers will also get introduced to the philosophy of the gold standard, as well as an adaptation of the analog Phillips Hydraulic Computer, a.k.a. MONIAC; Pratchett has always worked such concepts (e.g. evolutionary computing, relativity) into his books, which might have contributed to their readability. Coincidentally, Iceland's rethinking fractional reserve banking.

Mr. Robo: I'm a fan too! *winces* Ouch.

Me: Just you take it easy for now, Mr. Robo. Let's see what's on the sports pages... so we drew 2-2 with Guam in football, which has brought much public derision - but then again, while Guam are ranked 167th by FIFA, I don't see how this should be considered that much of an upset, when the Lions hold the lofty rank of... 153rd; looks to me pretty much within expectations, even accounting for T-shirt power. AC Milan's tying up with Hello Kitty - well, I'm not one to judge... and, what's this? AJ Lee is retiring from wrestling? Noooooo!


Her monologues will be missed.


Mr. Ham: *flipping through his own papers* Baby sloths get climbing subsidies... well, as long as I'm not paying for it... *gasp* oh, my! How could she?!

Me: Oh, I see you have come to the poisoning case at Stanford too?

Mr. Ham: Actually, I was referring to cats. But do continue.

Me: Well, the news first broke online, as far as I can make out, on Vice, which was considerate enough to use a pseudonym. Then again, given all the other details that were revealed, it was really not too hard for anybody interested to piece together her identity, and The State's Times happily splashed the story all over Thursday's front page, despite the victims asking for the matter to be kept private.

Mr. Ham: Lemme have a look at that. *grabs newspaper* Quiet, shy, insecure girl... put paraformaldehyde into her victims' waterbottles... targeted Asian women exclusively, confirmed by controlled experiment... blamed on stress and depression... eh, what's this? "...had never had a boyfriend, and envied those who had." *puts paper down confidently* Human, you thinking what I'm thinking?

Me: What?

Mr. Ham: *slowly extracts a cigar from cheek pouch, lights it, and takes a puff* If she had just gotten laid regularly, all this mess wouldn't have happened. How unfortunate.

Me: Methinks you may be jumping to conclusions...

Mr. Ham: Sir, I am a f**king expert.

*very slight pause*

Mr. Ham: *looks about brightly* And that applies literally too, if any fine ladies happen to be around.

Me: Mr. Robo, strike that off the record.

Mr. Robo: Uh, I'm not even taking any minutes. Ouch.

Mr. Ham: *pulls iPad from cheek pouch* May I introduce you to the wit and wisdom of your late Minister Mentor here, all the more as he's getting some blowback.


"It's more *satisfying* than your Ph.D." (heh heh)


Me: Re-introduce actually, but yeah. Not that it doesn't make sense, seeing as how our government scholars have a longstanding history of being... deprived. I wouldn't discount the stress bit completely, though - I daresay the environment over there had to be extremely competitive, and it's easy to imagine how someone could have felt lost going from "drilling in the course material and aceing exams" to "coming up with new ideas and planning research studies"; some timely support could have helped, but then again, even multi-million dollar investments aren't properly nursed sometimes...

Mr. Ham: Further, as academic vices go, aspiring towards being a f**king expert - like me - is pretty mild. Just look at what's going on: peer-review scandals, even at reputable journals, widespread standardized-test cheating in Atlanta, rather than the usual suspects... wait a second, what's this... a ninth-grade class in China has received over twenty patents?!

Me: Can't help but feel outcompeted here. It's such a shame, though, she had a bright future. Well, she's still relatively young, disregarding our Minister Mentor's sage age advice for a bit, and nobody died, so there's that. *takes a sip*

Mr. Ham: Hey, that's our coffee!

Me: Okay, okay, I'll make another cup.

Mr. Robo: It's ok. Ouch.

Me: Anyway, my own opinions on the issue have remained unchanged - and are probably strengthened - from a couple of years back. A guy's gotta have priorities and not get drawn into compromises in matters of such import, after all. *picks up a different paper* Ah, newer local Bitcoin home miners seem to be feeling the pinch. They really should have taken note of our recommendation back in 2013. Patience, I'd say.

Let's see what's in the Forum section... looks like the usual... wow. Hear this out: "To the noisy minority in relentless search of freedom of speech, political freedom and all... there are always places where such freedom can be found. But together with it, there will be... freedom to be raped." What can you say to that? There appear a few logical steps missing, but then the nation's still in mourning, so cut some slack I guess.

Mr. Ham: Yeah, it appears that your incumbents have successfully trained you lot to associate freedom of speech with freedom of rape, incredible as that may sound; and here I thought I had mastered the craft of propaganda!

Mr. Robo: Indeed! Ouch.

Me: Then again, it's not untrue that if one is forced into invoking the right to free speech as his primary argument, it often doesn't bode well for his persuasiveness - quote: "The most compelling thing you can say for your position is that it's not literally illegal to express." There're objections, definitely.


The way he's smiling, the coffee must have been fantastic
(Source: theguardian.com)


Still on free speech, our latest firebrand has been charged, and it is really telling as to how starkly opinions are divided. Locally, reactions to his actions have been strongly negative, with media personalities eager to disassociate from and condemn him and his parents, while the wider online community at large have been far more admiring.

A sample comment: "Random civilian Singaporeans were so upset at his naysaying of the supreme god-like leader that they had him arrested. Betrayed by your own people. That's what happens when you don't conform in places like Singapore and North Korea." Ouch, man.

Mr. Robo: *nodding* Ouch. Ouch.

Me: There's more - "this kid is speaking some real wisdom", "His argument literally does not matter in this case. The fact that the government arrested a boy for airing his argument is what should not be tolerated.", "I like this guy. He's straightforward and doesn't give a shit.", "Kid's a fuckin activist if you ask me. Took huge balls. He even got arrested. What have you all done today?", and oooh... "Oddly has some sort of dorky charisma about him that's mildly captivating."

Mr. Ham: Well, looks like he's gotten some international fans. Hardwarezone's even come up with a comparative evaluation, and on more than one front.

Me: That said, I'd personally find arguments a teeny bit more convincing if the proposers had managed the right surname... which happens to be one of those Asians-in-America things.

Mr. Ham: Ahem. Where's our new coffee?

Me: Oh, that. *revs up the machine* Here ya go.

Mr. Robo: Thank you. Ouch.

Me: Now where's that last section of the papers then... Hmm, it appears that it's time to praise our housing policies again. There's quite a lot that can be said about that, but let's do it proper justice some other time. So, you've been pretty quiet, Mr. Robo. Anything to add?

Mr. Robo: I came across this map tunnelling tool that tells you where you'd be if you dug your way straight through the Earth - in Singapore's case, it's an Ecuadorean national park. Ouch.

Mr. Ham: Aww, poor thing. Wanna cigar? It might help.






comments (0) - email - share - print - direct link
trackbacks (0) - trackback url


Next: Health Check


Related Posts:
Mr. Robo's New Profession
Think Thunk
The Week After
Groundwork
Riding The Current
Back to top

Copyright © 2006-2025 GLYS. All Rights Reserved.