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Sunday, Apr 17, 2016 - 22:10 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

Thai Twos



Returned to Thailand for the third time (NS trip included), and the first time since 2009. Time certainly flies. As again, it was Chiang Mai, then Bangkok, if with some new experiences.


Songkran

Yes, it's the Thai New Year! So as the story goes, a four-faced Brahman god named Tao Kabilaprom had managed to wiggle out of his latest casino exclusion order, and wound up betting his divine head against that of a mortal man, Dhammabalakumara (don't ask).

The wager took the form of solving a Sphinx-type enigma within seven days, which Dhammabalakumara eventually managed by putting himself in a position to eavesdrop on the answer; while this might seem rather unethical nowadays, it's really a time-honoured technique from the Classical Hero's Toolbox, and Tao gamely decapitated himself.

At that, seven seriously hot chicks came floating out of the sky, and Dhammi was feeling great about his chances, when they informed him that it was their father that he had just cheated. However, it turned out that they were also cool with it, since they were getting tired of his terrible dad jokes, he'd probably reincarnate in a few eons anyway, and this meant that they could finally go on Spring Break. Unfortunately, Dhammi apparently forget to get their numbers, and had to be content with telling anyone who would listen how he had nearly gotten with the sistas in his younger days.

Filling in the blanks here, it seems likely that the girls enjoyed themselves thoroughly at the beach, which led future generations to commemorate their epic wet T-shirt contests by endeavouring to splash water at each other each anniversary.


Water Wars!

It pays to be prepared. For our ride, we rented a sturdy Toyota Hilux, while picking out an arsenal from various vendors. Arms proliferation reportedly had unsportingly progressed to water cannons in past years, but as far as I could tell, everyone played fair this time.

While you can get some pretty big blasters for about S$10, you do get what you pay for, and they won't compare with vintage Super Soakers. That said, there's something to be said about ammo conservation, if one doesn't want to keep going down to the old city moat for refills. Also, the tank-based pump-sticks proved more reliable than the BFG-clones, which can get clogged at inconvenient intervals.

Furthermore, neither of them quite measures up to the decidedly low-tech solution of just flinging water from a 20-baht pail, which can strike with sufficient force to knock glasses off. Mix in some ice, and there's no way fancy sidearms are going to stand up to the sheer volume. Still, given the prevailing temperatures, it was often appreciated. It remains advisable to pick targets carefully, though.

Of course, there won't be any sniping of motorists back in Singapore anytime soon, but our best hope of a wet, wet party spluttered out in 2014, when organizers of the Celebrate Songkran festival backed down on all water-related activities, under pressure from both the Thai authorities, and public busybodies. This is why we can't have nice things.

A waterfall visit was promised next, and I was conjuring visions of standing under a curtain of water... and it turned out to be the Buathong version. I suppose it's remarkable in its own way, but a swim-bath there was not at all inviting, all the more given the size of the crowd.


Can't Stop The Development

The next time you drop by Chiang Mai, it could be worth your while to pop over to Sukontha Buffet. With the appearance of a dilapidated open-air warehouse, and cutlery to match, there are no frills to be had - but for 209 Baht (S$8) for all-you-can-eat-and-drink, who's there for the view?

It isn't as if there aren't any optional extras, with an eclectic mix of stalls and amusement rides attached to one side of the structure, as well as a resident singer crooning local hits through the night. While not exactly gourmet, there's a fair selection of grub, displayed under fans innovatively repurposed to keep the flies away. Glass bottles of Est were in plentiful supply, as Thailand's homegrown three year-old soda crowded out the big two Cola giants.

Overall, to be honest, Thailand's coming along nicely. The increase in the number of cars vis-a-vis motorcycles on the road was very noticeable, compared to previously, and there were various other hints, such as the Night Bazaar becoming covered, ultra-modern buildings making an appearance here and there, and assorted curiosities such as translucent display cabinets. In Bangkok, the Anantara Sathorn we stayed at was furnished to my taste, and the BTS Skytrain system in general reminded me of the MRT in happier, less jam-packed days.

Signs are that mainland Chinese money's spilling over, with plenty of them all over in addition to the usual farangs. Prices ain't that low any longer either, and despite yet another military coup a couple of years back, it doesn't seem to have affected the slow creep of prosperity. That's good.


Damned And Divine


More to the divine side...




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