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Sunday, Feb 28, 2016 - 18:29 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

The President And No Pope

Just a little teaser for the week, while awaiting Super Tuesday:

Some months after a small misunderstanding with a playful Pope, our dutiful traffic policeman has chased down a Rolls Royce Phantom headed from Nevada, and is once again taken aback by who he finds in the driver's seat.

Cop: "The hair, those eyes... you're Donald Trump, right?"

TRUMP: "The one and only. At ease, trooper. I know ya doing ya duty and all, but you might want to, maybe, just put this on my tab, okay? I gotta elections to crush, yuge walls to build, Bushes to berate... I'm a busy man, yeah? Oh, and there's something in it for you when I become President, come November." *winks*

Cop: "Oh no, Mr. Trump, I've heard a lot about you. They say you're a racist, sexist, xenophobic asshole - and now, a speed offender too. You're going in for this, Mr. Trump."

TRUMP: "You're not going to reconsider? After all, you know very well that you can't stump the Trump."

Cop: "Enough of that. Your driver's license, please."

TRUMP: "Well, what do you know, I just had it suspended for running into a panhandler back in New York."

Cop: "Huh. Registration papers for the car?"

TRUMP: "Heck, this isn't even mine. Some dimwit left the keys in, so I borrowed it. Don't they do this in these parts?"

The policeman can hardly believe his ears, and is already thinking of the headlines he'll make on national news, and the plaudits he'll receive. "Ok, Mr. Trump. I will have to ask you to get out of the vehicle, so that I can go through it."

TRUMP: "Fine, just let me get the cocaine out of the glove compartment. And don't open the boot either. I didn't want to have to disclose this, but there's the body of a heckler inside there. Shot him myself after the event. You didn't think I was joking when I said I wouldn't lose any votes even if I did that, did you?"

The policeman has heard enough, and flees back to his vehicle in terror. Ten minutes later, half a dozen cruisers filled with men in full riot gear - including the district chief - arrive, and two choppers hover overhead.

Cop: "Chief, be careful! He's dangerous! He's a monster!"

Chief: "I've got this, son. Mr. Trump, please keep your hands where I can see them, and no fast movements. Do you have your license with you?"

TRUMP: "Of course, sir. Here it is. Just renewed."

Chief: "It seems in good order. And the car registration?"

TRUMP: "All here. Only three months old. If you ever want a discount, I can point you to one of my dealerships."

Chief: "Please open your glove compartment slowly."

TRUMP does so, and reveals only a neatly folded MAGA cap.

Chief: "Can you come around the back, and open the boot up for inspection?"

TRUMP: "Sure thing."

The boot was filled with copies of The Art of the Deal.

Chief: "I don't get it. My guy here said that you didn't have a license, stole this car, had coke in the glove compartment, and what's more, had a murder victim in the boot."

TRUMP shakes his head sadly.

TRUMP: "I bet he told you I was speeding, too."


[N.B. See example of Ted Cruz.]



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