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Sunday, July 23, 2017 - 21:22 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

Endgame of Wit

"One little, two little, three little Indians..."

- well-known children's rhyme


Mr. Ham: *flinging door open* Say, human, you'll never guess how privileged you are, to get first dibs on my latest sure-win, can't-lose investment opportu... what the heck are you doing?!

Me: Huh? What? Oh, him. Mr. Ham, meet Mr. Ducky. After bumping into the concept of rubber duck debugging one time too many, I decided to give it a try, and rang the agency up for a consultant. True, Mr. Ducky has been kinda quiet, but he does exude a certain reassuring calm...

Mr. Ham: ...I haven't been gone even a week, and you've already given my job away? I won't stand for this, human! Us hamsters are not so easily cowed! So many years of faithful service, and this is what I get? I'll remember this, ingrate! *shakes tiny paw* And, just to clarify, that would have been a finger, only that I don't actually have fingers, so...

Me: *sighs* Noted. Just let me finish. After the performance evaluation, I've decided to place Mr. Ducky under you, as your subordinate. Your little fiefdom has thus doubled in size. Congrats.

Mr. Ham: Oh. I... excellent decision-making as usual, human.

Me: Don't mention it. But, speaking of jobs, our wise DPM has just sounded out that it's wrong to have complete free flow of people, with particular reference to the India-Singapore Comprehensive Economic Cooperation Agreement (CECA); gee, it appears as if allowing a population of 1.3 billion carte blanche to enter a city-state of barely 700 square kilometres might have been a bad idea, after all, even discounting the very real hollowing-out of local know-how in entire industries...

Mr. Ham: No xenophobia pls.

Me: Nah, same logic applies whether they're Indian or Chinese or European or American or whatever. And wait, there's more. In perhaps the worst-kept surprise of local politics, our lady Speaker of Parliament has indicated that she might run for President. Note, however, that I do not write Malay Speaker of Parliament here, since that has come under some contention.

In brief, it appears that Madam Halimah's father happens to be Indian-Muslim, a fact that has been extensively documented, but which is now being whitewashed from Wikipedia. Ownself vouch ownself duly followed, to general negativity from unimpressed netizens. The kicker is, of course, that these kinds of complications had been anticipated as soon as the new racist conditions for the Elected Presidency were set in place; the only unexpected bit was how swiftly it became a problem.

And, as so often has been the case, there happens to be a direct current parallel, over in GREAT AMERICA:


The EMPEROR OF GODS hast summoned the Indian God of Destruction, to purge falsehoods and illusion from the great U.S. Senate!
[Slogan: Only a Real Indian can defeat the Fake Indian]
(Source: twitter.com)


Mr. Ham: ...this can't be just a coincidence, can it, human?

Me: I'm increasingly convinced that it's all connected, Mr. Ham; as Leibniz suggested, we may well be living in the best of all possible worlds: a world of MEME MAGIC, and infallible GOD-EMPERORS - turns out, pulling out of the Paris Agreement was an overblown non-event, after all.

Anyway, against my better judgment - what's that "investment opportunity" that you were speaking of?

Mr. Ham: Why, buy Bitcoin, of course!

*silence*

Me: That's it?

Mr. Ham: Yes, that's it.

Me: But hasn't that been the firm of H.L. Ham's primary business since 2013...

Mr. Ham: *patiently* No, human, you don't get it. The point is to buy more Bitcoin. On reflection, our main inefficiency was not buying enough Bitcoin. In fact, we have assessed that the answer to just about any of our problems is simply to have bought even more Bitcoin. And, looking at the charts, I don't think you can argue with that.

Me: Eh, it does make for good looking, all the more with segwit finally, finally appearing to have been forced through, thanks to some timely "encouragement" via BIP148 UASF. That, and one brave soul holding up a "Buy Bitcoin" sign behind Yellen, during a Capitol Hill interview, the Rothschilds dipping in, and John McAfee promising to eat his dick on national television, if the price doesn't hit half a million in three years. We all would much rather he doesn't have to, of course.

We'll expound more on this next time, kind of busy working this market with Mr. Robo - Mr. Ham, Mr. Ducky, get on it!



And just to reiterate, we *do* accept all ethnicities...
but they must be documented




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