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Tuesday, May 29, 2018 - 17:11 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

Without Regrets


It's nice to sleep in


An Entrée

Three friends, who were also farmers, were sharing an evening repast. As the wine flowed, talk drifted, as it oft did, to their work and plans - sale prices of crops, harvest expectations, what they were going to buy with the profits, and so on.

Abruptly, one of the trio put down his glass. "Tom, your holdings are near the river; it might be wise to consider some preventive measures, it's probable to burst its banks soon."

Tom didn't take to that kindly. "Why are you saying that? Nothing of that sort has happened for decades! You're just jealous that my land is more fertile, aren't you?"

The first farmer lowered his head. "No, no, nothing of the sort. But there are patterns, records, you know, and they all point in the same direction. The meanders upstream are vanishing, it's been extremely cloudy the past months, as I'm sure you've noticed, and sporadic flooding has already been reported in the next county. However, if you start building levees now, you should avoid the worst of it."

"Ah, you think you're very smart, don't you? Don't forget, we all grew up together, don't get all hoity-toity on us. And at the end, it's all heaven's will anyway!"

The first farmer bowed further. "I have no such intention. But I also have to say that I have studied this land and its history for a very long time, and have been constantly thinking about local weather trends too. I do not claim to be knowledgeable about other subjects, or even especially good at this, but I have been decent at it if I say so myself. Please, if you are unwilling to build a levee, at least consider taking out crop insurance."

"Yeah." the third farmer, Jake, said. "You know he means well, Tom. We've known each other for so long."

"No!" Tom shouted, red-faced. "Since when do friends wish ill on each other? It's my farm, I say that it's doing well, and shame on you for thinking otherwise!"

The first farmer said nothing more, but he remembered when he had toasted Tom on a bountiful harvest - with the support of his convictions - many times previously. And the rains did come, and the river did burst its banks, and Tom was all but wiped out. It was a rather less cheerful gathering, next they met.

"Damned bad luck, Tom." Jake consoled. "Who could have thought it? That came out of nowhere!"

"Uh, Jake, it might be a good idea to think about digging irrigation canals to your plot, which is far from the river. It's gearing up to be a very dry summer, the swallows are..."

"Ah ha!" Tom cried. "The f**ker is doing it again!"

"You shut your cursed mouth." Jake snapped, exasperated. "It's just flooded, do you take me for a three year old kid? You're talking to us like we're dumb, and I don't like that, you know?"

"Not at all, but... it's not like you're even destined to lose out, if you just take the right preventive measures! I mean, even without a canal, if you just rent a small tanker, which would come to just a few percent of your revenue..."

"You know what," Jake said, standing up angrily. "I don't have to listen to any of this. Good riddance."

"Yeah!" Tom added. "We should never have met up with him. Look at what happened to me. Let's go, Jake."

And the first farmer was left alone at the bar, nursing his drink, ruminating upon the nature of men.


Not On Your Worst Enemy

Poor Karius. Even for a United fan, that was brutal - but also entirely self-inflicted. Worse, if he had literally done anything else, such as kicking it out, it might have been ruled illegal. Nothing he could have done about Bale's bicycle kick, but that third one, eh, you'd expect more from a semi-pro.

Well, if he can pick himself up from that, he should be able to pick himself up from anything that comes his way in the future. And as an entirely random observation, he really resembles Dolph Ziggler from some angles.

Those egregious mistakes also took a lot of heat off Sergio Ramos, who knew exactly what he was doing to Salah with his abortive judo throw. These are the fouls that dynasties are built on, though - a few decades on, and it'll simply be "Real Madrid win 3-1 to pick up their 13th European crown".


Fast Hand Fast Leg

"Everybody plays games. You know that better than anybody."

- the wisdom of the GOD-EMPEROR


The manner in which the local administration responded to TRUMP's supposed cancellation of the North Korea summit - allowing police personnel to apply for leave, etc - frankly puzzled me. Surely it was clear that there was a high probability that the posturing was just a negotiation technique? Indeed, Kim crawled back to the table almost before the day was out, with his bluff called, for the very simple truth that they need a deal much, much more than the U.S.; thus, in a single characteristically decisive flourish, TRUMP has set the tone with one (1) very dank letter, by punishing bad behavior while incentivizing positive gestures.

This unorthodox brilliancy has of course drawn the ire of well-credentialed armchair theorists and talk-show guests, but these are also in the main the kind of people who cough up the sticker price at the car dealer - or worse, think that haggling is beneath them (doubly so when it's not their money anyhow). Approaching realpolitik with the air of a starched-up student council president candidate (interspersed with habitual completely unnecessary bows to crotch level) might be cute for a bit, but seriously, no-one who matters (outside of certain Amerieuro safe space bubbles) respects such behaviour.

His willingness to walk (as previously highlighted) and instinct for piecing deals together might not be appreciated by those who haven't managed a hot-dog cart, but consider the alternatives practised by the previous admin: keeping the status quo without effective sanctions, essentially leaving a nuclear-armed rogue state for the next guy to clean up (i.e. North Korea), or capituating to a tissue-soft "deal" that involves bribery with billions, only to allow a nuclear weapons programme that can be restarted in days (i.e. Iran)

Thankfully, this President is different - he has not wavered despite continued misrepresentation from the Fake News media (who are rightly becoming yet more ineffectual), and despite a burgeoning PC culture that arrests citizens for filming in public spaces (despite doing so themselves) while hushing up widespread and very well-documented "domestic" rape gangs because it doesn't fit the desired narrative, he has perservered - and, we may add, in TOP STYLE:


There will never be another of his like.
[MAXIMUM AUTISM REMIX]




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Next: All Roads Converge


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