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Monday, Feb 03, 2020 - 21:13 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

Geonotes (Part I)

This year's not letting up, folks! The dank news' flowing in thick and fast; the twin blows of Acquittal and Brexit were however arguably overshadowed by surprise Coronavirus, and we're not even talking about the chaos that will be the Democratic primaries (which seriously deserves a post devoted all to itself)


Washington D.C.


Rising media outlet The Babylon Bee slays it yet again
[N.B. There's rumours of friction with a jealous CNN, after the Bee earned Pulitzer plaudits with their comprehensive coverage of "Democrats Grasping At Straws To Impeach Trump Now Regret Banning Straws"]
(Source: babylonbee.com)


And what does a GOD-EMPEROR OF THE UNITED STATES have to do, to get wearisome domestic opponents off his back? Fresh off trolling the Iranian leadership, preserving life, initializing the Star Trek timeline and cranking the American economy yet higher with the glittering new USMCA trade agreement to boot, the guy can't catch a break from either the FAKE NEWS or the Dems, who were about to string him up for making a perfect phone call. Where is the justice in this world?

So, back to how it all started - supposed "Russian collusion" even before he was done getting elected in 2016; of course, if you think about it, has any major election not come under some degree of "foreign interference", given that any state actor proxy can simply fling Facebook or Google a few million to buy some ads, 'cause it's a free market?! But no, you had the previous POTUS siccing the FBI on the mere shadow of a pretext - moreover serving up invalid spy warrants. But GEOTUS got so totes cleared after two years of the witch hunt, so all's well, eh?

Thus GEOTUS got back to draining the swamp, with a focus on possible corruption in Ukraine - because if there's one thing those Democrats have always preached, it's that you have nothing to fear from an investigation if you're not guilty - but apparently a US$600k annual retainer for someone with no relevant experience wasn't worth an audit, not even when Daddy (and current Democrat frontrunner) boasted about - get this - withholding aid to get the investigating proscutor fired.

Say what you want about Nancy Pelosi, but she was probably a canny enough political operator to figure out how the impeachment process would likely go, especially when her eventually-submitted articles under Gal Qaeda pressure amounted to "unspecified high crimes" (seriously, what happened to Russia?); now, it should be noted that impeachment is a political process, not a judicial one, which means that one can entirely validly impeach a President for eating a ham sandwich, if they had a majority in the House of Representatives. Which the Democrats, as it happened, had.

Unfortunately, actually winning the trial required a two-thirds majority in the Senate, which they certainly didn't have.


And thus the age-old struggle of bat vs. bad continues
[N.B. Also, get in on the new rising Dolly Parton meme format!]
(Source: reddit.com)


Thus, Pelosi was stuck in something of a bind - she had the oh so urgent impeachment articles in hand, but to actually hand them over to the Senate would merely kickstart the process of total and irredeemable defeat. Her efforts at bargaining for concessions were doomed from the outset, given that the House had already dangerously abandoned past precedent by refusing the defendant his right to counsel, to summon witnesses and to cross-examination, in the initial sham hearings. Obviously, two could play at the same "technically valid" game. In Hitchens' immortal words, "that which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence."

And thus, the final chapter of the utter farce began: Pelosi formally started the extremely sombre trial by handing out commemorative pens - engraved with her own name, no less. The Senate Majority Leader, who happened to Republican, then exercised his entirely valid right to give everyone their say. As for witnesses, it appeared that the Democrats were unwilling to allow the Bidens to appear (wise move, actually) in exchange for a disgruntled fired employee seeking book sales, all the more as their other star witness wasn't cleared to attend due to his ankle monitor from an ongoing indictment. His acquittal all but assured despite biased FAKE NEWS selective coverage, it was then the turn of the all-conquering GEOTUS to hand out his own USMCA souvenir pens, to keep those troll levels up.

It is unknown whether Pelosi recalled her pens.

That said, while Pelosi might sound slightly idiotic for not understanding the definition of "acquittal", she hasn't got as far as she has, without knowing how to raid the lemonade stand. Remember the holding-out on sending the impeachment articles over, with some clueless (or complicit) FAKE NEWS pundits positing that she had "gambled and lost" on the delay? No, siree, that lady's nothing if not calculating; the delay just so happened to push the trial into the pivotal Iowa caucus, which would leave Bernie tied up in the Capitol, while establishment favourites such as Biden and Buttigieg were free to campaign.

Well, neither she nor Bernie are likely to ultimately get what they want out of this, but that telling's for another day.


London


Sovereignty Reclaimed!
(Original source: r/the_donald)


The Brits can sure move fast when they want to, and after a complete blowout of Labour socialists in the general election (which might just yet again be a hint for how the situation in America's gonna unfold), they were officially out of the European Union, on the 31st of January. Flag recovered, hankies waved, Wikipedia page updated. It's done.

Definitely, there remains much furious shaking of fists by the globalist NPC set, but really, the many quite valid arguments in support have been given short shrift by the FAKE NEWS. Chief among them was probably the opposition to unfettered immigration, with the official line towards locals who were understandably unhappy at losing their jobs and otherwise being displaced by new arrivals being that they were racist or lazy. Moreover, there was the ever-present question of what the E.U. truly was - a benign trading bloc of independent equals, or some Frankenstein superstate bossed by unelected bureaucrats?

Now, I ain't gonna lie, Great Britain's hardly going to be fully independent, what with their Great American relations unlikely to be wholly equal (and indeed, the squeezing's started); however, as pointed out in our recent coverage here, the chances for a rather more compatible CANZUK-plus-US alliance are good, and what's a bit of chlorine in your chicken anyway, especially with that H5N1 bird flu again making its rounds?

But yeah, Big Ben's bonged, Prince Harry & Meghan Markle (who really got the short end of the stick with the tabloids) have decamped to Canada, and BoJo's right-hand man has put out a call for data scientists and other assorted boffins, as Great Britain enters a new Euro-less era. They'll be fine, probably, especially if the GOD-EMPEROR doesn't claim too much of their financial sector as tribute. I think he likes them, though.


Kobe


Black Mamba Over Black Mambas
(Original source: r/nextfuckinglevel)


I'll be frank, I'm not a super-super huge basketball fan (in fact, I sometimes wonder why I still stay up to watch United play nowadays; Bruno Fernandes looks promising tho) but Kobe Bryant was solidly in the pantheon of legit household names, where ignorance thereof - even in faraway China - marked a lack of cultural knowledge rather than respectable non-wonkdom. Additionally, he was just forty-one, so it was probably safe to say that nobody was even thinking of the possibility.

But well, things happen, so it's perhaps best to remember him for his undeniable virtues, such as his work ethic and level-headedness, and it was these that were eulogized by the foremost warrior-poet of our generation.


Houston

There are ends, and then there are re-beginnings, and yes, that's Edge coming out at #21 in the WWE Royal Rumble! I'm unsure how many imagined he would one day return, after having retired due to an injured neck in 2011, but damn if his entrance and theme song hasn't stood the test of time.


Tokyo

It all started when Ariana Grande got a tattoo in Japanese to commemorate her new single; the kanji would probably be interpreted as "seven wheels" in Mandarin, but those familiar with Miyamoto Musashi's The Book of Five Rings classic would figure that 輪 can indeed mean "ring" in Japanese. Sadly, it seems that this particular combination more commonly means "small charcoal grill", and an attempt to fix the ambiguity apparently resulted in "Japanese BBQ finger".

Anyway, with the upcoming Olympics in Tokyo, I had to wonder whether they would try to work Musashi's magnum opus in somehow (five rings, geddit?), or whether they had done so the last time they hosted it. As it happens, there has been an initiative on anthropomorphising participating countries as (anime) samurai and such, with Singapore/Gokensui not looking too shabby there. Bio from Google Translate follows:

"He is a pacifist and sees everyone equally. I like super clean.

Basically silent, but occasionally mumbles overwhelming the surroundings.

He is also in charge of the nature of Masusei-an (ASEAN).

I was so happy that I pulled out the Holy Sword Merlion, and I started swinging on the spot and destroyed the city.

No matter what is going on, it's my own pace to go to bed at the same time as the sun goes down, and my habit is to be a captain who always challenges everything in front of me. "


Eh, not sure if that "in charge" line's going to be well-received by our larger neighbours, but okay.



It was just one ring a decade ago, has inflation got this mad?


[To be continued...]



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Next: Geonotes (Part II)


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Geonotes (Part II)
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