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Friday, May 08, 2020 - 22:32 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

Yes, Hamster!

The circuit breaker's had me settle into some kind of a peaceful routine: wake up, inspect hamster. before sleep, massage hamster (or he gets cranky and keeps rattling the cage all night long); and then, there were... unforeseen complications.

Mr. Ham: Late again, human. And, why is there junk mail in my home? *waves flier* Isn't there a do-not-advertise list that I can get on? And where's my breakfast?

Me: About that, you might want to take a look.


I've even circled it for you
(Source: straitstimes.com)


Mr. Ham: TCM? What does that have to do with me? McDonald's still shut down, so sad, hairdressers yadda yadd...

...

ahahahahhahaha! Superb joke, human! I didn't know you had it in you! Tell me, how long did you take to create this in Photoshop?

Me: This is from the national paper, they remain pretty authoritative on these kinds of proclamations.

Mr. Ham: No, no, honestly, top effort. But, don't drag it out, then it's not funny anymore.

Me: I'm serious, hamster. We're completely out of sunflower seeds. Lockdown and all that.

Mr. Ham: Say that again.

Me: *pushes papers through cage bars* On the bright side, there is a considerable body of research on the benefits of intermittent fasting on rodent health. Lowers blood pressure and cholesterol, extended lifespan... you'll finally get that hot bod you've always wanted! Just four more days! You'll have all the water you need, of course.

Mr. Ham: I will murder you in your sleep, human.

Me: Just as well that I had a spare travel luggage lock left over, eh?

(We shared a foodpanda order)



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