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bert's blog v1.21 Powered by glolg Programmed with Perl 5.6.1 on Apache/1.3.27 (Red Hat Linux) best viewed at 1024 x 768 resolution on Internet Explorer 6.0+ or Mozilla Firefox 1.5+ entry views: 3618 today's page views: 160 (7 mobile) all-time page views: 3241801 most viewed entry: 18739 views most commented entry: 14 comments number of entries: 1213 page created Sun Apr 6, 2025 09:16:06 |
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- category tags - academics art changelog current events cute stuff gaming miscellaneous music outings philosophy poetry programming rants reviews sport travel work tags in total: 386 |
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- changelog - changelog v1.19 --------------- * All blog entry images now hosted locally (partially obsoletes v1.09). Goodbye ImageShack, and thanks for all the loading delays and 404s. Nah, just kidding, you've been great; thank goodness you're not Webshots! A minor, but potentially far-reaching update to commemorate 400000 hits on the glolg platform. Previously, the primary host for images had been ImageShack, a holdover from when my old provider capped site bandwidth. Those bad old days are long over, but this was a habit I never got out of, until now (partially encouraged by ImageShack recently mangling filenames to non-descriptive random strings) Quick stat: There are a total of 1314 images posted in all previous entries. Amazingly, I managed to retrieve every single one of them, other than the first one in this post from 2007, which I recreated as best as I could. I also took the opportunity to fix a few broken embeds of flash videos that I came across (not going to host those anytime soon) Hail To The Power Of Balls When one thinks that there's nothing left to innovate, one is inevitably mistaken. A few months after hearing about the One World Futbol project, it has been topped by... a ball that extracts and stores electricity for later use. I anticipate a ball that slices, dices and makes julienne fries next. Oh, and the LionsXII won the Malaysian Super League, which sadly has not yet recaptured the old magic. Still, it's good that we're not prone to taking football overly seriously. This might be a good time to report the results of last season's Man vs. Ham contest, which has been hanging in limbo for nearly six weeks now. Anyhow, it had me concluding with 3382.25 seeds of 3300 wagered, while Mr. Ham achieved only 3048.50, despite his 50-seed headstart. I'm sure he'll be anxious to finally get one over when the new season starts. Haze Cleared, Mostly The winds have kept up, leaving some of those who went long on N95 masks sorely disappointed. Having hopefully fixed the last of the bugs, some born of pure exasperation (e.g. the non-error I couldn't resolve due to checking the (y,x) coordinates instead of (x,y) ones), this meant that I had some time to hang out with the ghost of Mr. Ham. On work efficiency, I discovered that answers to seemingly intractable issues often come readily after a full night's sleep. However, momentum also is quite a big deal in programming, with it taking maybe an hour to simply get into the zone, together constituting a bit of a dilemma over work habits. I considered getting an extra monitor at home after getting used to it in the lab, but held off due to lack of desk space. Not only that, it seems that Remote Desktop puts heavy demands on the GPU, as it fails when kernel code is running; this basically leaves access to the hamsters as the main selling point for working from home. Mr. Ham: I knew you had time for little ol' me. So, whassup? Me: Not much new. The local press, oblivious to a "news" reporting climate that has drawn international concern, is back to lionizing the burgeoning portfolio of the nation's favourite investment firm, which has reached S$215 billion. Additionally, just in case anybody missed the headlines, they took care to spend some of the S$215 billion to take out a four-page full-colour advertisement to reassure all and sundry that, yes, they do have all of S$215 billion.  Or: when we win, it's my nuts, and when we lose, it's our nuts [Source: The State's Times, July 5 2013, Page A19] Mr. Ham: *flips through paper* First things first... no hamsters in the ad again. I've really got to do something about that soon. And what's this, "does not manage CPF savings"? Haven't we gone through this last year? Me: Well, it's probably technically true but not to the point, like how the HDB is losing money hand over fist and has delinked BTO flat prices from market valuations. You get used to it after awhile. More pertinently, why is it the portfolio value that is being lauded? Isn't the yardstick of investment success the rate of return achieved? Further to this point, if one looks at their historical portfolio value, it was actually a tiny fraction of the current total - below about S$20 billion - up till 1992, and then climbed to over S$60 billion in 1994 due to the listing of SingTel, which surely must be considered an asset transfer at some book value. Interestingly, the portfolio value in 2003 was lower than that in 1994, if only due to SARS. Then it all exploded. The portfolio value went on an unstoppable surge - where did the funds come from? - to some S$180 billion in mid-2007, and after the global financial crisis, continued its rise to the current sum of S$215 billion. The Ministry of Finance FAQ on the national reserves confirms that they began diversifying in 2002. Fine. However, the page goes on to state that shareholder returns has dropped off heavily over time, whether by market value or shareholder funds, but also that newer international investments in the past decade made 18% compared to just 11% in the protected local market. What's with that? Mr. Ham: *pats shoulder* High finance is very complicated. Take it easy. I have it on good authority from our Certified Master Political Analyst friend, Herr Ahm, that said investment firm is essentially invincible, being possessed of impeccable judgment. Who cares what the other so-called experts say? If they say China banks are the real deal, then by golly, they're gonna make a killing by moving in and out of CCB!  We will *huff* get... over... *puff* the li...line, one way or the other! (Source: Somewhere On The Internet) Me: Hm? Wasn't it supposed to be "long term horizon"..? Though they did make out okay on it that time. Mr. Ham: How about we move on? We're not going to get much further on this. What else is there? Me: Ah, yes, nearly forgot. The Court of Appeal, Singapore's higher-than-High Court, has seen fit in its impartial wisdom and attendant excellent grasp of English comprehension to lay down an epochal ruling - that "shall be filled by election" means "shall be filled by election", as I understood it. Which goes to show that you, Mr. Ham, are not infallible. Mr. Ham: *waves paw* Nah, I never claimed to be taking a long-term view there. Me: Meh, whatever, eh? Mr. Ham: Actually, as Herr Ahm would probably say, it's good for all concerned. This coming nearly a year after the original impetus, few will take note. Your head of government avoids losing too much face and can't waffle in future, your heads of the judiciary demonstrate their mastery of the word "shall", and the people actually get some additional promise of fair representation. This calls for a celebration! Me: I suppose so... The Road Less Travelled As we continued chatting, the discussion turned to A History Of God*. It was so engrossing that we neglected to keep track of where we were walking, until we came across two men, one elderly and one young, sitting with their backs to us. [*By the way, I have another (second-hand) copy, thought lost after mistakenly specifying an outdated vPost address. If anyone wants to take it off my hands, be my guest] Young Man: ...let me go and talk to them. It doesn't have to be like this. I can change them. Old Man: *in a world-weary tone* Believe me, I have tried. Go if you desire, my son, but I tell you that it will be in vain. You will tell them to love, and they will weep at your feet; but your body will not yet be cold when they slay in your name. They will hail each other as brothers, but you will find that often, brothers kill each other more ruthlessly than strangers. *cracks back* Believe me, I have been through this all too often. I speak, and they smile and nod freely, but you will soon find that they only remember but what they choose to. You tell them that they are entitled to something, and they will hold it to you, yes, verily till the end of days; but when you say that giving of themselves is the noblest of acts bar none, not one in a thousand will take you at your word, and conjure up all manner of excuses as to why it is unnecessary. But they will all expect you to be their best friend, regardless. My beloved son, it is forever the tail that wags the dog. They will be happy enough to praise you in reverential tones and beautiful verse, but what use is that? If it is done, what use is talk? If it is not done, what use is talk? Time and again, you tested them by how willingly they would place ritual above spirit, and hoard the final prize for themselves when it cost nothing to give. Time and again, they have fallen short. Young Man: And yet I must try. Old Man: Again? What name shall you take this time? Never mind, let it be a surprise. We will be together again before very long. *They embrace, and the younger man leaves* *The old man turns around* Me: Oh. Hello. We were... just passing by. Didn't mean to intrude. Old Man: *smiling, with crinkles around eyes* No, no. It's alright. My son is gone again, and I am lonely. Will you two not sit and talk with me? Mr. Ham: Very kind of you. Uh... what were you doing? Old Man: Me? I am but a simple gravedigger. I have seen many who were called great rise, yet all that rise will fall. Once hailed as omnipotent, they led their hosts to crush the houses of those that came before them under their feet. But as they crush, so shall they be crushed, as they sully in name, so shall theirs be sullied. And in time to come, every one of them will be forgotten, as if they never were. Thus is the way of the world. Me: Well, it is not unknown to come back from the dead. Old Man: A paltry trick, a parlour trick. But I am proud of what I do. My line is long. It was old when the first men cowered before lightning and thunder and made obsequiance to them, it was ancient when the boy from Galilee walked this earth. And one by one, with a heavy heart, I buried them all. Mr. Ham: Ooo, I've dug a few holes in my time too! Glad to meet a fellow professional here! Old Man: Nice to meet you too, Mr. Ham. Mr. Ham: *taken aback* How did you know my name? Old Man: *scraping dirt off his shovel with his heel* Oh, I know a few things, here and there. An acquired skill. You would be amazed, amazed at how rapidly they adapt. I mean, when I was younger, I had a bad temper, played favourites, and did some things I'm not very proud of. But I always buried them afterwards. But time went on, and it got out of hand - they would go on about how I would torture others after death. Pray tell me, why would I want to do that? Have enough graves to dig, as it is. And my poor, poor, naïve son; I told him that visiting once wouldn't work - he said his message was universal, I said that the neighbours would just be miffed at why he didn't drop by their place instead - human nature. And the next time he sent someone, they upped the stakes by declaring that it was his final visit. I say! *shakes head* What can you do about that? Me: It must be tough, this kind of stuff. Old Man: *sighs* You tell me. I mean, do what you want, but do you really have to use my name too? Mr. Ham: Hey, at least they're trying to get it right, and if I may say so, it's sort of more orthodox over here. Though I never quite got the hang-up over the birds and the bees. Put it this way, some time back, there was this group that not only stated that celibacy was a virtue, they actually believed in it. Me: So? Mr. Ham: Well, they're not here any more. *silence* Old Man: Don't look at me. You don't hear me telling people not to use their left foot, even if it's there for a purpose. I think it's more a property rights issue than anything else. I can't control what people say I said, and anyway, I'm simply an old gravedigger that's been around. Ah. I should be getting back to my job. Twas' my pleasure to converse with you two. *tips hat and shuffles into the distance* Me: That was a nice old man, don't you think? I hope his son comes back fine. *Mr. Ham looks back quizzically* Mr. Ham: Men? Weren't both of them hamsters? Next: On This Day I See Clearly
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