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Saturday, July 27, 2013 - 19:11 SGT
Posted By: Gilbert

Quickies


Bye Bye Bye BPL

The most-eagerly anticipated price of the off-season has been released, and it's... S$59.90 a month to watch the Barclays Premier League, up from S$34.90, just because StarHub can cross-carry the content, and even though SingTel are still the ones billing customers in that event, going as far as to bundle nearly everything else together for just S$5-S$10, in an acknowledgement of their actual value.

While some have hailed near-doubling their fees as a "clever pricing move", I sure hope the bigwigs over at Red Umbrella have done their revenue projections properly. From this move, it seems that they do not expect to lose more than about 40% of their existing BPL subscribers, if their paramount concern is the immediate bottom line. I don't know if they have done their sums correctly, but I do know that I'll be one of their number. Sixty bucks?!

Charging nearly the price of a movie per match was already pushing it, especially when it was a glorified streaming platform in the first place, and there exist other attractive alternatives - but even if there were none, this is going much too far. Sayonara, mio TV.

It might be goodbye for Rooney too, after Moyes (who has alredy sold him on once, mind) indicated that he is considered to be van Persie's backup. I'll be the first to admit that Rooney is and remains a very good footballer, but the problem is that United are paying for a top-ten-in-the-world quality footballer, which he probably hasn't been for years. Problem is, he seems the kind who could well reclaim his fire after a kick in the butt, so selling to a league rival may backfire. Hard choices for the new manager.

While we're on sport, the national table tennis association has finally gotten part of the point in melding local and recruited players. Then again, their hand was likely partially forced by the International Table Tennis Federation setting (perhaps overdue) stricter regulations on naturalised representatives, which would have seen two of our 2008 Olympic silver-winning squad completely ineligible for ITTF World events, as they had converted after the age of twenty-one.

Although this restriction is not in place for major international games such as the Olympics (yet?), it probably still makes development more difficult, since players are denied valuable top-level experience. This could yet be circumvented by recruiting young - those under fifteen will be banned for only three years - but this then increases the additional risk of them not developing into world-beaters, while it is far easier to judge paddlers who are entering their prime.

It does feel bad to sound out against undoubtedly nice chaps who are just plying their trade, but what started out as a good idea had rapidly, after a series of then-natural steps, morphed into a rather meaningless contest of "who can we get to sign a contract with us?". Put another way, would one expect a large section of say, Brits, to mutter if, just for example, Federer had switched over after they had dangled a ten million pound prize for a tennis gold medal? Thought so.


The Most Famous Baby In The World

It's a bit dated, but I'll take the name.


It's that time of the decade again, as His Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge entered this world amidst much fanfare on Monday. Oh, there were the downers who stood about bellyaching about how dozens of earthquake victims had been relegated to a footnote, and what about the other three to four hundred thousand babies born that day, but really. It's a cute toddler! The sort you squeeze a little when nobody's looking! Just be happy, man. He might even buoy the economy... or maybe not.

While coming short of being universally liked, I must say that there's something about having a national figurehead whose position is explicitly understood to be hereditary. Everyone knows that their job is to smile and wave on occasion as little flags are waved, hats are thrown and hip-hip-hooraying gets done. They don't affect to possess particular competencies and instead focus on walking about slightly stiffly, exhibiting exemplary behaviour at all times (harder than it may sound), and delivering the odd rousing address when required to.

And that's before the tourism dollars part, which makes it look better and better. In fact, why don't we start one too?

It would at least divert attention away from pesky tiny issues of no concern, such as the MAS finally beginning to worry about aggregate household debt after accidentally ten billion small potatoes, even as the Government of Singapore Investment Corporation - a honest descriptive name if I ever saw one; it does invest money for the government of Singapore - suddenly chose to emphasize its privateness.

In even less important news, it was the Corrupt Practices Investigation Bureau's turn to get caught, over the piddly sum of S$1.7 million. At their wits' end but with integrity wholly intact, the Bureau has taken the extreme move of restricting its members from frequenting the casinos during work hours, not helped by the undiscerning public continuing to stall on paying them their proper due. See lah.


Underlings

Mr. Robo: ...and I think Windows is in trouble. Ah, and have you heard of the upcoming Batman vs. Superman flick?

Me: Yes, I'm extremely eager to discover who will win! There must be a huge twist somewhere!

Mr. Ham: I'm sorry, am I interrupting anything?

Me: Nope.

Mr. Ham: Good, I'd like you two to meet someone then:


My newest minion, Mr. Minion! They're all the rage now!


Me: I wouldn't have thought you the type to queue for hours at a fast food outlet for this. The Hello Kitty craze at least could be attributed to a primordial stirring...

Mr. Ham: You thought right. I ordered mine from Hong Kong for five bucks, all inclusive, as suggested. Did you think I'd let cats strut their stuff uncontested? Nah, it's my turn for good PR!

Me: Fair enough.

Mr. Ham: Mr. Minion, sweep the floor.

Mr. Minion: Um, sir, it's been days of that and taking out the garbage already. When do I get the on-the-job training? I signed on for the good advancement opportunities, and overlooked the frankly very poor remuneration for that.

Mr. Ham: Okay then. Mr. Minion, sweep the floor evilly.

Mr. Minion: ...come again?

Mr. Ham: That's what I said. The worst of them had to start small and practice incessantly too.

Mr. Minion: But with a broomstick?

Mr. Ham: Oh, you can brush up on the evil laughter simultaneously. Has to be second nature for a future overlord. Imagine if, while battling some meddling heroes, you had to ask for a break and catch your breath before going bwahaha. Goodness, no, can't be having that!

Mr. Minion: Wow, I understand now! Thanks!

Mr. Ham: Knew you were a quick study. Just between you and me *looks about* and them, you could be up for a promotion soon. Nose to grindstone, eh? If you had one, that is, but you get what I mean. *winks*

Mr. Minion: Yes! At once! Bwahahaha! *sweeps* Bwabwaha! *sweeps* Ahahahahahahaha... *pants*

Me: Very motivational of you.

Mr. Ham: Hey, it's true. One doesn't get the lungs to guffaw loudly for minutes on end without some serious training. But enough of my latest employee, what about you?

Me: Have to get serious too, I guess.

Mr. Ham: Shouldn't be a problem, especially with Mr. Robo willing to help out, right?



Just needs a bit of encouragement to string the combo
(Source: Hardwarezone Forums)


Me: True that. And getting access to a room where I can be alone for a bit helps too. It's horrible not having "me time". Back to it then.



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